Editor’s note: We connected with Arielle on Twitter, and we love her work.. Check it out!
1. You’re talking to more than one person at a time, and they don’t know it.
First of all, ooooh you’re messy! You don’t want a relationship, you just want to be entertained. That’s cool, but don’t be dishonest. You have an obligation as a decent human being to let everyone know what’s up (They shouldn’t have to ask to know this information either, it’s just common courtesy).
2. You don’t care who you end up with.
As long as you’re not alone, you’re good? People who want healthy relationships can’t relate. Do not get into a relationship just to say you did it. Your SO is a person, not a trophy. On the flip side, you could end up playing yourself by being so desperate for attention and affection. But boo, that’s on you.
3. Your words and actions don’t add up
Don’t tell someone that you want them, then proceed to do everything to lose them. *cues Bryson Tiller music*
4. You’d rather run to someone else than work out your problems with your significant other.
This means your level of commitment and respect for them is insultingly low and there’s no reason to keep the relationship going.
5. Even your friends and family can’t defend your behavior
The people most loyal to you can’t rationalize your logic, because there is none.
6. You’re still asking other people for nudes/sexual favors
If you don’t get on somewhere with your trifling….
7. You can go days/weeks without talking to your significant other without feeling guilty.
If out of sight, out of mind is your mindset, then you’re not ready.
8. You’re not willing to work through things as a team.
Good relationships take work and great relationships require even more. If you can’t work with a group of people on a science project for a week, how do you expect to do it (potentially) for a lifetime? It’s not all about you. If reading that scared you, then you’re not ready.
9. Rumors easily sway your perception of your partner.
Everyone has a past, but if you keep looking behind you, you’ll never know what’s up ahead. Quit lurking on HBCU Confessions and Yik Yak to link your bae to (usually untrue, and occasionally half-true) foolishness.
10. You’re not honest about your intentions.
You are responsible for the level that your relationship reaches. You have an obligation to yourself and your partner to step back if you can’t reciprocate what they dish out.
11. Everyone knows your business.
There’s no reason for the whole world to know about every argument you have, every time you break up, etc. Channel your inner Jay & Bey and keep it to yourselves.
12. You keep your significant other a secret.
This can be explained one of two ways. A. You’re genuinely worried about making your relationship public for fear of failure. That’s cute, but grow up. B. You’re playing them or you’re ashamed of them. If that’s the case, you’re trash. Making your relationship known is part of what makes it real – things like this need to be acknowledged by others. We’re grown now; a bond without a title for too long* is unacceptable.
*”A bond without a title” is a romantic relationship minus the responsibilities that come along with it. That includes, but is not limited to the responsibility of remaining faithful throughout the course of said relationship. Only the two of you can determine how long is too long to casually date, but my advice is to let it go after a year (and even that’s being generous depending on who you ask).
Arielle Nicole began blogging in December 2014. Things close to her heart include fixing the mass incarceration of minorities, increasing awareness for the sexual health of young people, increasing women’s rights internationally, and the investment of children in inner cities. The Detroit native attends Hampton University; follow her on Twitter at @Arielleblog. at Arielle.Nicole.
Have your blog delivered to you! Type your email address in the box and click the “create subscription” button. My list is completely spam free, and you can opt out at any time.