by Gina B.
Even the strongest relationship can be as fragile as fine stemware. One bad argument (or a few hours of serious introspection) is often all it takes to make both parties wonder why they’re together. Even if the question lingers for only one minute, the answer can be pivotal.
If you’re smart, you will make sure that your significant other has no reason to contemplate extensively. Rather, in moments of indecision, the question should be an immediate “why not?”
Recently I’ve been watching the development of a new relationship from the sidelines. One of my deserving friends is dating a man who is checking all of the right boxes and embodies every quality that I would wish for my girls. He’s unwavering in his efforts to display his genuine interest in her. While he does take her to nice places, she’s more enamored with his attention to small details, open communication, exceptional thoughtfulness and consistency. He is proving to be reliable and has yet to disappoint.
Although hesitant in the beginning, she’s found herself without any good reason not to date him. In fact, she would be a fool to overlook him. Her “why?” has shifted to an emphatic “why not?”
On the flipside, another friend was in a more mature relationship with someone who wasn’t on his game. He wasn’t attentive or particularly thoughtful, he had no interest in fun or spontaneity and she suspected that he was cheating. At some point she reached a crossroad and had to make the decision: should I stay or go? When she started adding up the data points she asked herself why she should remain in the relationship. It was a no-brainer. She couldn’t find one redeeming quality, and therefore there was no good reason to stay.
Because it’s easy to become complacent in relationships of longevity, it’s necessary to occasionally self-evaluate through the eyes of your significant other. Ask yourself a few tough questions:
- Am I aware of his/her needs and am I trying to meet them? Does s/he have any unfulfilled desires in our relationship?
- Can my man/woman close his/her eyes each night with the knowledge that he/she is adored?
- Do I make her feel beautiful? / Do I make him feel necessary and important?
- Am I honest and faithful?
- Is my self-assessment accurate? Would my significant other agree with my answers to the above questions?
If you’re in the right relationship, rising to the occasion should be a fun challenge. However, if you find yourself wondering why you should work so hard for your significant other, again, the follow-up question should be “why not?”
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