The one red flag that I believe women ignore–that defines the true intentions of SOME insecure men–is a man who always points out a woman’s physical flaws. And yes, he expects her flaws to be fixed.
All people have flaws.
Some physical flaws come with being a woman. One example is stretch marks. But regardless of what your particular flaw is, if a man is constantly focused on it; has to always remind you of it; and wants to know what you’re going to do about it, please be advised, that man has insecurities that he is reflecting onto you to distract you.
That man is seeking an object that fits his ideal of perfection. He wants you to be a perfect specimen to make himself feel good about whatever he is most insecure about.
You’re already perfect the way God made you, but he thinks you can do better, and of course he’s not interested in paying the costs associated with you obtaining his desired level of perfection; whether it is a gym membership, personal trainer or a visit to a top notch cosmetic surgeon.
His only goal in pointing out your flaws is to throw you off of your square.
If you become laser focused on a flaw that he thinks you should fix, you won’t notice whatever he’s trying to hide from you about himself.
For one man, my flaw that needed fixing was my breasts. He didn’t think they sat up high enough. Yet, he didn’t want me to know that he was over the age of fifty and dying his hair black to look younger. Another man harped on my waistline, to distract me from the fact that he lacked integrity and couldn’t build his career.
One man had issues with the beauty mark on my chin.
Another said my toes were too pointy. None of these flaws of mine had anything to do with what kind of woman I am or what I brought to the relationship. If I foolishly fell for the distraction, maybe I wouldn’t notice the lipstick on the collar, the phone calls that go ignored or that I didn’t get a Valentine’s Day gift….you know the other red flags that I should be attentive to.
As women, we typically know what physical attributes we need to improve upon versus the ones we want to change only because they are minor.
We’re also already bombarded with unrealistic expectations and standards of beauty everywhere we look.
The man you are in a relationship with should love the way you look and the way you are, flaws and all, the same way you love him.
Informing you of improvements you could/should make should never be for the purpose of hurting your feelings and should come with viable, healthy solutions and his involvement.
Most importantly, any advice should be more about improving your health, not focused on your weight, size, shape… or stretch marks.
Never let a man use any of your flaws to make you forget how valuable you are as a woman. If you meet a man who does, leave him alone.
He doesn’t deserve you and he’s distracting you from something about himself that he doesn’t want you to know.
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