Lonely, Sexless and Married

Lonely, Sexless and Married
Posed by a professional model. Photo: Nigel Elliott, Photopin/Creative Commons.

He smiled megawatts that shot straight to my soul. Incredibly handsome in person in contrast to his creepy profile picture. So we met on Twitter one day, I was browsing, minding my business and reading about others’ woes and rants.

But he struck me. I’m no #TwitterHottie with thousands upon thousands of twit fans, so it’s not unlikely I’d respond to a tweet.

One offer to enjoy a rooftop Happy Hour led into an invitation for a media event that led to a job offer. In all of this interaction and whiskey, there was few if ever a mention of our personal lives. We talked about the event, the schedule and the weather. Weird, I know. But I really was no more interested in telling of my dateless 30’s than I was to hear about whatever brought him outside on a Tuesday in his suit from court… there’s a story here.

He was lonely, sexless and married.

Because insult wasn’t satisfied with injury, he was stricken with a crush on me amidst the demise of his marriage. Just my eff’n luck! Here he is, successful, handsome with a presumable heart of gold and he’s devoid of morning sex and occasional ‘just because’ BJs. The irony of it all, right?

The fact that there are men in America married to lazy, unaffectionate and neglecting women boils my blood. Yes, it’s because I’m single dating in a pool of men that resemble a frat house as opposed to a marriage chapel. So when I hear stories of husbands being mishandled it really grinds my gears.

Sure there are two sides to every story but there are certain proofs that I can’t deny in terms to his current situation. Of course he’s staying for sake of the kids.

As cliché as that is, like most fables, it rings of a certain truth.

I do not under any circumstance advocate infidelity on any account. What I do stand for is truth. By any means, necessary seek, defend and protect your truth. Tell your whole truth first to yourself so it’s easier to articulate to others.

He says he needs to leave her. Being a present father and a happy man is paramount; staying in an unfruitful marriage is more damaging and he’s not prepared for that.

I won’t date him or ever fulfill the void I feel he deserves filled. That’s not my place. As a woman, I hear the stories of women staying in unhappy marriages and she gets a badge of honor for her misery, for sake of the kids, to each her own.

That’s not a notion I subscribe to. We all deserve a happiness and a shot at it. We all should be fulfilled and appreciated, if not, then what’s it really for?

I’m A Comeaux and I’ve learned that our happiness individually is as vital as it is in union.

Follow A Comeaux @KCOSpoke on Twitter.

Follow A Comeaux @KCOSpoke on Twitter.

A Comeaux is the writer, speaker and actor who poetically paints pictures of life and love with a paradoxical perspective. Follow her on Twitter @KCOSpoke.

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