When Being the Side Chick Goes Wrong
Side chicks have been around since the beginning of time. Some women even claim to have found glory in being number two. My story however is a little different. As a side chick I wasn’t wined and dined or taken on any expensive shopping trips. It wasn’t until after the mind blowing sex and a strong emotional attachment, did I learn that this handsome man was nine years my senior, married and the father of five children. Initially after finding out, I took the stance that I would never settle for being second. However I was twenty years old, naïve, hot in the pants and obviously in way over my head.
Although I knew it was wrong, I couldn’t resist him when he called. After all, there must be something special about me that he couldn’t resist either, at least that’s what I told myself.
I allowed myself to be totally convinced that he wasn’t receiving what he needed at home. As time went on I grew more and more attached. He would come over after work each night but initially he would never stay all night. After sex, he would fall asleep and I would ignore my urge to scratch or even use the bathroom because I didn’t want to wake him. I wanted him to stay with me all night and eventually he did. He started staying until about 6 a.m.; probably arriving home before his children woke up and realized dad wasn’t there.
Imagine the fear and uncertainty that gripped my heart when the second line appeared on the home pregnancy test!
Not only was I twenty years old, I was completely clueless on how to raise a child. He convinced me that abortion was wrong and said he would never support that decision. He told me I had nothing to worry about and that I could trust him to be there for us. It never dawned on me that I couldn’t trust this CHEATER not to be a LIAR too. How could he be in two places at one time? How would he be able to be a father to his children that lived in his house and be there for our child too? The harsh reality was that he couldn’t be in two places.
He was never there for our child and I don’t think he ever intended to be.
Most women with any amount of self worth would have learned from this experience. However, it wasn’t until I was lying on the abortion table with tears streaming down my face terminating our SECOND pregnancy did I realize I was worth more and I deserved better. Together we had created a beautiful daughter but as this new life was being sucked out of me, it finally set in that I would never be number one and we would never be a family. I was lost, broken hearted, alone and scared. My daughter grew up never really being accepted by him or her paternal side of the family.
When his mother died, she found out about it on Facebook.
Today I am proud to say I am the parent of an intelligent college student. I would go through the heartache and disappointment all again if that was the only way to see her beautiful face.
However, I will NEVER glorify the role of side chick because it left me empty when it all went wrong!
About Shemeka Michelle: “I was that chick. Gave it all up, all of it. I put all my eggs in one basket. Didn’t have a plan B ‘cause I believed in plan A. Then one day, all of it came to an end. All I could do was take it. I’m a survivor with three kids so I HAD to make it! Instead of dying from pain and hiding in shame, I’ve decided to get NAKED.” www.nakedgirlzblog.com
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