By Sylvia Snowden
To my fellow single ladies,
Let’s get real here. The main reason we’re still single is we keep reading these ridiculous articles about why we’re still single. They never tell us anything useful, they’re always all about what we’re doing wrong and what we should do better. I ask you, what about that sort of advice is constructive?
Let me tell you, you don’t need any of that stuff; there’s absolutely NOTHING wrong with you.
The reason you don’t have a boyfriend is because Mr. Wonderful hasn’t been smart enough to snatch you up yet, you just have to know that. Yet, I fear not enough of us do.
I read this article yesterday that said the number one reason men don’t call you back after a date is because of “Boss Lady” syndrome. It claimed that men are turned off by assertive, powerful, type-A women who disagree with them during a debate.
The article then went on to say that if you disagree with your date, you may want to try to “soften” or “rephrase” your argument, so that you don’t upset the man.
I mean, this is serious, real-life advice still being offered to women in 2014.
Personally, I’m curious to know why any strong, powerful and intelligent woman would want to date a pansy dude like that any way.
I’m even more curious to know why a woman, who’s found nothing but success by being type-A, would suddenly betray that part of who she is for the sake of having a man.
Do you think anyone would ever advise a man to be less “type A” in hopes of snagging a woman?!?! Of course not.
And even if you were to “soften” your argument in the early stages of your relationship, exactly how long do you think you would last until you’re telling him to “sit down and shut up,” like you do everyone else in your “type-A” life?
Wouldn’t it just be better–be easier– to stay yourself until you find a man who’s into that, who likes that, who’s, dare I say, gets turned on by that?!?!
Unfortunately, my spidey senses are already telling me there’s some poor, brilliant, assertive, type-A woman, standing in the mirror rehearsing how she can soften the things she says right now.
You know who we could all really learn from? Kim Kardashian. That’s right, Kim K, and in spite of how hard I was on her in my last post, I’m being completely serious when I reference her as a role model for women in dating. When Reggie Bush dumped Kim because her life was supposedly too high-profile, do you think she cared? Do you think she was willing to quit her show and lower her profile to be with him? Heck no! She cried for two episodes and then moved on Myles Austin.
And when her paparazzi life got be too much for Myles, she cut him loose, too. She cried for a couple of more episodes then moved on to Kris Humphries.
When she finds out Kris wants her to leave her show, she leaves him and moves onto Kanye West before the ink is even dry on her divorce.
While I’m certainly not suggesting you move quite as quickly as that, what I hope you’ll take away from Kim’s story is that she knew the problem wasn’t her. She also never considered giving up a fundamental part of who she was, a part she found to be quite fulfilling, for the sake of being in a relationship.
She kept going until she found someone who appreciated that aspect of her life and believed in her brand so much he got her on the cover of Vogue, VOGUE (Kris Humphries couldn’t do that!)! And the person she landed was ultimately wealthier and better for her profile than all of those other men, combined.
So take heart, and calm down. Your Mr. Wonderful is closer than you think, you’re only single because he’s not here yet.
Please promise me that you’ll stay your amazing self and that this will be the last “The Real Reason You’re Single” article you ever read.
Sylvia Snowden is a fabulous Chicago-based journalist and the President of Always Onyx. Follow Sylvia on Twitter @TrulySylvia
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