By A Comeaux
As we all know there are two sides to every story, here’s hers…
We hear stories of homewreckers and “slut buckets” from the club, but this isn’t that.
THIS other woman isn’t her and I honestly felt compelled to tell her side.
Go with me, and if you open your mind, you’ll learn something.
My first question is: Why? What can you, would you and how can you be with a man that you know can’t be yours? But that’s our biggest plague of naiveté. It all started as a friendship. A non-verbal understanding. A comfortable space with respectable boundaries. Nothing physical or even intimate.
Except, he calls ranomly throughout the day to speak of the ills of his life. To check on her, reminding her that he’s there for her, unconditionally. All without violating his promises at his own abode, he’s bent the rules every way short of breaking them.
How’d he get here?
What friend did he find in this woman that he didn’t find in his own? And this friend was here first. Even having a relationship of her own, she wasn’t willing to sacrifice or put in jeopardy. Yet, they both found a space in the tight rope of love and in the blink of an eye.
Neither of them saw this coming.
Now hold on, I know what you’re thinking, ‘Oh hell yes they did!’ But when I asked her questions that pervaded my understanding, she obliged. Not to be the face of infidelity, but to send a note to the woman thinking her man’s content when in actuality he’s living in lack.
Not being judgmental or overbearing, but easy flowing and accommodating. And he adores her. Whether in designer duds with full face or fresh from bed au natural. This isn’t about sex or even the obvious physical attraction. It’s a palpable chemistry. An intense aura of comfort. And they both have gotten caught up in a whirlwind.
And the night she knew he fell in love, she knew that trouble was ahead.
Aside from the facts of their current lives, she didn’t want him as her man, yet she too fell in love right along with him.
She loved his vulnerability, his trusting her with the tenderest moments in his life. The loss of his father, the meeting and relationship built with his mother and family.
She was not only his friend who he could depend on, but the woman he’d rather have around as he mourned. Through the years, she’s respected his current, old and newfound loves. She’s maintained her stance as a woman of standard.
Yes, standard! She’s never interfered with his affairs.
She’s simply been the friend his life needed. The friend she never understood why he never found in his heart’s desires.
The women he calls his own, don’t know the man next to them cries in private. They don’t know how to reach that place he moved out of their reach but hands to her with full trust.
I have a newfound understanding of the dark society of women men find such a connection to that I have to reflect on relationships of my past. Was I ever that friend? Or that woman my man ran from into the bosom of another?
If we’re honest, we’ve all played both roles at some point, be it willingly or unknowingly.
What I learned is to pay attention to the signs. We all break down our compartments differently, but if you notice you’re not a part of certain spaces, chances are, someone else is. So you may ask, how can you fix this? How can a woman remedy a situation as stealthy and seductive yet intentionally harmless?
I’m A Comeaux and I challenge you to ask, ‘How can you be your own man’s best friend?’
A Comeaux is the writer, speaker and actor who poetically paints pictures of life and love with a paradoxical perspective. Follow her on Twitter @KCOSpoke.
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