5 Tips for a Successful Long Distance Relationship
By Tinita Tennant
We see the relationship dynamic changing tremendously and the once inconceivable success of a long distance relationship is achievable.
My husband has been in Korea for a year and we’ve come to learn that having a long distance relationship has the same requirements as a typical relationship; with both parties committed, the relationship can work.
Here are 5 tips to achieve success:
1. Understand Your Expectations
Be clear about what you want and expect from your partner and relationship. Before jumping into a long distant relationship get on the same page and be sure you’re both willing to commit. My husband and I weren’t yet married when he was deployed to Korea. However, we had a mutual understanding of what we wanted for our relationship and family and that became our focus. We understood that this was either going to make us or break us; and we both were committed to not allowing the distance to break us.
2. Communicate, Honestly
Communication is the key to any successful relationship. More importantly in a long distance relationship it’s easy for frustration to settle in and it can be easier to hold on to ill feelings when disagreements arise; therefore, it is that much more imperative that you speak up and be honest in your feelings when you feel them.
I’m usually the one who wants to talk about everything and I found myself closing off. My husband being a man of few words turned a new leaf and has been cognitive about talking through issues. There’s no more pillow talk, no more talking at dinner; my husband helped me get used to the new methods of communication. Technology is a blessing. Even with the time difference, we make time to Skype, we text and send emails.
3. Remain Positive
Your mindset about your new relationship is going to be another key ingredient to your success. During the toughest times of missing one another, my husband and I remind each other of how much we’re in love and that we’re going to get through it; we release positive energy to one another. When either of us are stressed and/or facing challenges that the other can’t help with, we are each other’s biggest supporter, listening ear and positive reinforcement. Though you’re not physically there, always be there for your partner, and be the positive force in their life.
4. Have Creative Sex!
This was the BIGGEST adjustment for my husband and I. You want to keep the fire burning and be intimate with your partner, so you’re going to have to get creative. We had to step out of our comfort zone and go with it. Sending seductive pictures and videos, phone sex and Skype sex; all get the job done for the given circumstances. It was awkward at first and we felt cheesy but after all “practice makes perfect.” The more we did it, the more comfortable we became, the better we got at it. Yes, just like the real thing. The more we did it the better we got. We learned better angles, I learned ways to be sexier and more playful and I learned a whole lot more about my body, what I like and what pleases me most. That definitely enhances your intimate time when you are together. When my husband came home for his mid-tour and we got married, I have to say we had the best sex of our relationship. Anticipation and emotions were high, I was freer than ever and had a deeper understanding of my body sexually. Creative sex is the reward for enduring the distance.
5. Keep Busy
Keeping busy helps to make the time go by seemingly faster. Staying active with family and friends, discovering new hobbies, and getting back in touch with your passions or interests helps get your mind off missing your partner so much. It also serves as good conversation pieces. It’s always bitter sweet because I’d love to have my husband apart of all my experiences but it brings me joy to share it with him through pictures, video and our conversations. It’s also nice to have your partner show their interests in what you’re doing, most likely when you’re together they’re going to want to join in on your fun. There was a time my husband didn’t want to always be on the go, as I do, but this distance has put things into perspective for him and he can’t wait to be able to enjoy these experiences with me, especially with our sons.
The distance hasn’t been easy but it has been beneficial to my relationship with my husband as well as my growth as a woman. When my husband left for Korea we were boyfriend and girlfriend (in a serious relationship with kids), he came home for a short visit and when he returned to Korea we were an engaged couple and when my husband came home for his mid-tour we got married.
Long distance puts things into perspective really fast. You’ll learn what you and your partner are made of quicker than you may know. Don’t shy away from trying a long distance relationship, it can be a beautiful thing.
I’m Tinita Tennant, your girlfriend with a fresh perspective and always looking to inspire. Check me out, the freelance writer and more at www.tinitatennant.com.
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