Single Moms Rock--but Marriage Rocks, Too

Single Moms Rock--but Marriage Rocks, Too
Follow Nicole Harding on Twitter @RealTalkNic

By Nicole Harding

Married Moms Club.

Sounds kind of corny, doesn’t it?

But after watching single moms unite, and appear in Oprah’s Lifeclass, and after seeing the previews for the upcoming Tyler Perry film “Single Moms Club” I couldn’t help but wonder if being married is out of style?

Don’t misunderstand. I have been a single mom and I was raised by a single mom. I think it’s the toughest job around and surely no shame or judgment from me when it comes to this tough task. There is a “but” though…

Many the single moms that I see most often are incredibly young; sometimes less educated, and most times in poverty. These young women haven’t had regular interaction with many married people and most of their peers have had a similar experience.

And it worries me that marriage isn’t in the conversation for many of them in the way that motherhood is. The traditional sequence of meeting, courting, dating, marrying, starting a family these days appear to be meeting, sexing, girl having a baby, and dude peace-ing out. 

And it worries me that to talk about this can be received as blasting all single moms.  Not at all.

But a conversation around marriage and motherhood should also include another “m” word: Money. The poverty level for single-parent families is 41.5 percent, compared to 8.7 percent for married couples. These numbers speak to masses of our children, not just a few. And living in poverty has a whole host of other problems and concerns.

The young women I have talked to and mentored want the trimmings of a middle class lifestyle. They know education is critical to change their circumstances. But nowhere in the conversation is marriage, and how statistically, this is a poverty breaker as well.

Even mainstream media has forgotten that you don’t have to snag a basketball player to get married. James and Florida were in the struggle together–and it was still called Good Times!!

I get it; Single Moms rock! They hold it down and make it happen. While we celebrate and support them let’s add marriage to the family conversation. It may be corny but, sometimes it works.

Real talk!

Nicole Harding is an expert in leadership development, a wife and mother, who is focused on spreading positivity, one conversation, one home project, and one dynamite deal at a time. Follow her on Twitter @RealTalkNic

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