Three Ways to Check Your INNER Hater

Three Ways to Check Your INNER Hater
Follow Sylvia on Twitter @TrulySylvia

When You’re Not the Prettiest Girl in the Room

By Sylvia Snowden

Ordinarily, you’re a pretty humble chick but tonight, you’re patting yourself on the back because you look…….well…….. perfect.  You’re the life of the party!  Your make-up is flawless, your hair is “whipped to the gawds,” and your dress is killer.  Yep, every guy here is totally checking you out.  

Then all of a sudden, in she walks.  

She’s younger than you are for sure (by at least five years).  Your make-up is great, but hers is greater.  Your dress is good, but hers is better (without spanx, may I add).  Your hair looks as good as you can get it, but she’s got you beat there, too.  And now, every guy who was just looking in your direction is in a complete frenzy over this new girl.  Then, suddenly, it dawns on you; you’ve been demoted to the second hottest girl in the room.  This girl has walked in, stolen your attention, your suitors and your swagger.  You try to remain calm, but you feel a little twinge in the pit of your stomach.  You’re doing your very best to contain it but, alas, you can’t and before you know it, you’ve morphed from a very beautiful Bruce Banner, to the Incredible Hulk of haters!!!!

Has this ever happened to you?  Have you ever disliked somebody because of how her awesomeness made you feel about yourself?    Oh no?  Never?  That’s not surprising.  You see, everyone admits to having haters but hardly anyone cops to being one.  If you are brave enough to admit your hating ways, I’d like to be the first to commend you for your honesty.  I’d also like to tell you that you’re not alone, plenty of people are guilty of hating for no good reason, even yours truly.  The trick isn’t not having those feelings but rather, learning to manage them.  I’ve come up with a few tips to help control your inner hater (we’ll consider them my gift to you for the holiday season!).

1. Remember nobody’s perfect– not even her.   It can be tough to keep in mind, when you’re staring the personification of perfection in the face, but try to remember she has flaws, too.  Maybe she’s very messy, perhaps she’s not too bright or she could have really, really bad breath.  Who knows?  The point is though; make certain that instead of focusing on what’s right with her, remember there’s definitely something wrong with her. Ha!

2. Keep in mind that which you do well.  While nobody’s the best at everything, I’m a very firm believer that everybody is the best at something.  Perhaps it’s not the same thing your perceived rival is good at, but you’re definitely the best at something.  Channel that thing in that moment and remember just how much better at it you are than everybody, including her.

3. No matter what you do, NEVER let her see you sweat.  Listen, hating is one heck of a drug!  Once it gets a hold of you, you may start rolling your eyes, scrunching up your face or even resort to out-right sabotage to undermine this girl.  Let me warn you, while it may feel good to your ego to lash out at her at that moment, if you resort to any of these tactics, she’ll know she’s won.  Keep you inward hate inward, please.

Yours Truly,


Sylvia Snowden is a fabulous Chicago-based journalist, the President of Always Onyx and Director of Community Engagement for the Six Brown Chicks. Follow Sylvia on Twitter @TrulySylvia; reach her at Sylvia@SixBrownChicks.

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