First Love: Me & Mr. Hollywood

National Orgasm Week is coming (July 31st-August 6th) and this week, a few of us are getting intimate with you by sharing our first loves, first heartbreaks, and, um, first battery operated boyfriends.

Here, Toni Spearman blogs about her first love, Mr. Hollywood.


I was recovering from an abusive relationship that I survived by the skin of my teeth, when I met him. I wasn’t looking for love, hell, I was just glad to be alive, when Mr. Hollywood came into my world.

I call him Mr. Hollywood because he did things to me and for me that I had only seen in blockbuster movies in Hollywood. I wasn’t prepared for his charm but I soaked it up like a country biscuit soaks up brown gravy; he wined and dined me to the point that I was sure he wasn’t real.

Human, I mean.

But oh no, he was VERY real. And very sexy, and very intelligent, and very buff, and very . . . did I say sexy?

I was working the second shift at an alcohol and drug rehab center in Kansas City when I looked up and saw this mouth-watering creation walking in my direction. I scanned myself up and down, hoping my slacks weren’t wrinkled and that there were no stains on my shirt from the spaghetti I had just consumed.

Dear Jesus, I thought, he’s looking directly AT me. Mr. Hollywood came into my office and greeted me with such dignity and professionalism, I had to catch my breath. He extended his hand with a simple business card inside and asked me through the most beautiful lips this side of heaven, “Are you ready to purchase a new car Ms. Lady?”

Of course I wasn’t but I shrugged my shoulders ‘maybe’ and took the card. After giving me his name, he turned around and said smoothly, “When you’re ready, give me a call.”

I called Mr. Hollywood the following month. I was not ready to buy a car, I just wanted to hear his voice again. He kept my number and from time to time, he would call and ask if I would join him for lunch. I made several excuses, not wanting to rush into another relationship, too soon.

But after several, “I need to see you,” “Will you please let me take to you dinner?” “Just have lunch with me today,” and “I really need to see you,” I decided to take him up on his offer. The week after Valentine’s Day in 2009 I joined Mr. Hollywood at a beautiful park one Sunday afternoon, where we walked and talked and laughed until my cheeks burned. I felt like I was fifteen again. The butterflies swam warmly in my belly, and they caused me to blush uncontrollably.

From that day to this, Mr. Hollywood has opened doors for me, sent me flowers just because the sun was shining (or not), placed ‘love’ rings on my finger during the intermission of a jazz concert, gave me his last name, fathered my children (and his) and remains faithful to his vows.

In retrospect, I realize that I have cared deeply for others, liked a few more, but I have NEVER been in love until now! Oh, how sweet it is!

Toni J. Spearman is an author, editor and Life Coach in West Texas. Follow her on Twitter @ToniSpearman1

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