Relationships: 3 Things to Know Before Becoming Facebook Friends

By Sarah Gooding, Guest Blogger

You’ve had your first date and you can’t get him off your mind. What is the next logical step after a great date? The Facebook Friend Request. You’ve likely already exhausted all of his public photos. Now you want more. What was he doing last weekend? Do his friends look fun and cool? Is he really as active as he claims? And most importantly…what does his ex-girlfriend look like?


Before you hit Friend Request, have you considered how your date will interpret your Facebook profile? Will seeing your photos and updates make him even more into you? Or less? Here are three important reminders before adding your date as a Facebook friend:


1. Your Facebook Profile is an extension of yourself. Accepting a Facebook Friend Request gives people a virtual introduction to everyone in your life, every public photo taken of yourself and every status update you’ve posted over the past six years.


Just as you normally wouldn’t talk about religion, politics or your past relationships on a first date, you also should be wary of introducing these sensitive topics to the relationship too soon via your Facebook account.


For example, if you have photos and status updates revolving around your ex all over your Facebook profile, hold off on hitting that Facebook Friend Request. Have this conversation in person before exposing your date to people and relationships from your past.


2. Too much, too soon can ruin the romance dance.

The excitement and romance of dating someone new is discovering who they are slowly, over time. This romance is interrupted when you share your life story on Facebook too soon.

Take it slow, even if that means not getting that glimpse into his world (via his Facebook profile) as soon as you’d like.

Revealing too much, too soon, can cause unfair assumptions to be made before your date even gets to know the real you. Remember those shots of you from your younger years – at the bar, holding a drink in every photo? You may not want the last thing he thinks about before his head hits the pillow is of you doing a beer bong during your spring break in college.

3. Use Facebook’s Privacy Settings.

The beauty of Facebook’s privacy settings is that you can customize which friends have high privacy settings and which friends do not.

If your date requests your friendship, rather than leaving him hanging for days until you’re ready, add him to your high privacy list. On this list he will only see images and updates that you post and you can even tighten these settings further if you’d like. You can also go back in time and hide any photos or updates posted to your timeline that you’re now having second thoughts about sharing.

Sarah Gooding is Product Manager of, ‘the world’s largest dating site with over 55 million users.’


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