How many years, how many babies, and how many break-up/make-up sessions does it take before you realize that your situation…is pointless?
What is a reasonable amount of time before you seek an advancement in your relationship status? And, how do you go about approaching your mate and letting him/her know that it’s time you’ve received a promotion in their lives?
Some people may see this as pressuring the other person…I see it as knowing where you stand…and if you’ve been with someone for 5 or 10 years and you’re still not STANDING at somebody’s altar, then where do you go from there?
I know that marriage isn’t for everyone, but for those who want that…how long do you wait?
I think the conversation needs to take place as soon as you know that you are past the “friend” stage.
Expectations about what level you plan to take the relationship should be established at the very beginning to make sure that both planes are taking off at the same time and headed for the same destination.
You can’t depend on the other person to know your expectations or to know when you want more from the situation than what you’re receiving now.
You have to communicate effectively so that everybody is on the same page. And while some people may be okay with the “eternal lover,” status, if you know that you want or deserve something more, then you need to speak up for yourself.
If the outcome is not what you hoped for or what you expect, then you know where you stand and it’s time to make a decision based on where you are vs. where you want to be.
I think that it takes no longer than two years to decide whether or not you and your partner are on the same page, in terms of where you want to take your relationship.
By then, the relationship has a flow to it…you either fight and break up every other month or you’re growing, learning, and enjoying each other and thinking and talking about taking things further.
I think sometimes we as women get so wrapped up in just wanting someone to be there “right now,” that we don’t take the time to set limits for how much of our time and our hearts we are willing to give away freely without any substantial commitment.
I mean think about it…you can only lease a car for so long, or rent a home for a certain length of time before the rent is raised right?
It’s time to do better, ladies. Know when to punch the clock.
Follow Monique on Twitter: @MoniqueMakell