The things you want in life MUST be intentional and not accidental.
By that I mean we must KNOW what we want out of a spouse just as we must KNOW what we want out of life. Failure to know what is important to us when selecting a spouse is dangerous; it means we accept what is presented to us without digging deep to know what WORKS for us.
So a lot of what I am going to tell you to do to create the perfect spouse, whether you have one now, or whether you are like me and looking for one, is going to start with you!
- BE the CHANGE – Mahatma Gandhi has said: “Be the change you want to see in the world.” Relationships are no different. If you want something different in your relationship then be the first to bring it to the table. If you want a spouse that is more attentive, then YOU must be more attentive. If you want a spouse that is more complimentary, then YOU must be more complimentary. It may not happen overnight but as you exhibit these things with your spouse then they will happen for you.
- KNOW what you want – Take the time to make a list of what things are MOST important to you in a relationship and what things are deal-breakers. Sometimes we are quick to say, ‘I am not happy in this relationship,’ but we don’t take the time to articulate what it is that WILL make us happy. Once you make your list, it will be easier to match those attributes to your perfect spouse. If you are already married, you can take that list and continue to become the change you want, by first bringing those things into the relationship yourself.
- Accept that there is NO perfection; there is only happiness. Remember that since WE ourselves are not perfect, no relationship is perfect. All relationships are a series of ups and downs, rights and wrongs, but to be happy more often than not is the goal.
Creating the perfect spouse would ONLY mean that we are perfect ourselves—(and we’re not) so be quick to forgive and forget and become even quicker to show your love.
Best of luck with your creation!
Dawniel Patterson Winningham
Master Coach| Best Selling Author| Award Winning Speaker
Fortune 100 Executive
Mother of 3 teens