The Death of the Phone call

before-calling-me-ask-yourself-is-this-textable-7514-640x640I do not like to talk on the phone.  Sure I can call and make an appointment to have my hair cut or see the podiatrist.  And I talk to plenty of people on the phone in my line of work.  But when it comes to having a personal conversation, I break out into hives at the mere thought of having to endure speaking on the phone.

In fact, the only thing I dread more than talking on the phone is going to the dentist.  For the last two weeks I’ve been putting off making a call to a friend to congratulate her on her recent adoption of a baby girl.  By the time I get around to calling, that kid will be off to college.

It could be that I worked in a call center for 7 years at the No-Name Software Company.  Or it could be that I just don’t like people much any more.  Ironically I’m now responsible for raising two germy projectile-barfing poopsacks socially-conscious children with beautiful manners and high self-esteem.

In the old days,  a phone call was special because it cost money to place one, especially long distance.  I’m sure many of my friends would call me when I wasn’t home so that I would call them back on my dime.

Where I work, we do this thing I call brokering a call.  Someone will email or IM you and ask if you have a minute to talk on the phone.  Usually it’s because you have already been going back and forth over these two mediums and the message isn’t getting through.  But once it a while it’s because someone doesn’t want to put something in writing.

I think the real reason I hate phone calls is because the caller is calling when it is best for them, not you.  We all have that friend, you know the one.  They work in sales and spend 80% of their time driving from client to client.  Their car is their office so they call you when they have a long trip or are stuck in traffic.  And when they get to their destination what happens?  They decide this call is over, often rather abruptly.

When the next iPhone comes out, I really hope it comes in a does not make or receive phone call option.  Otherwise I’m just gonna get a smaller iPad and be done with it.

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