Spoiler Alert: Do not read if you haven’t seen American Horror Story: Coven, Season 3 Ep. 6 – “The Axman Cometh”.
“When I plant a fat ass, cracker bitch I expect her to stay planted.” – Marie Laveau
In the crazy, frenetic world of American Horror Story we hardly ever get place setting episodes; episodes in which not much happens, but the scene gets set for greater turmoil down the road. But Coven is a different kind of story with a slightly slower, more focused pace, so with “The Axman Cometh” set setting is exactly what we got.
The episode began with an extended trip to the past to meet, well, an axman who once paid an unfortunate visit to the coven. Note to future serial killers, don’t mess with a coven of suffragette witches. I’m not sure what a released serial killing spirit adds to the proceedings, but heavens knows we didn’t have enough going on already.
The number one suspect for Cordelia’s acid attack, Marie Laveau, has officially been cleared. As she so obviously pointed out, if she wanted the woman blind she wouldn’t need to leave her alligator skull encrusted chair to do so. Not that she’s too concerned with Cordelia’s well being. Turns out Mr. Fox is a witch hunter on the voodoo payroll tasked with ridding the world of all its Salem descendants. If all the witches are dying off so rapidly, how did it take a ragtag group of baby witches to figure it out? I guess Fiona is a shitty Supreme.
While Cordelia’s attack gave her a new power of clarity, Fiona’s chemo has given her the gift of mind reading. I thought that Supremes possessed all the powers a witch van have, but this newfound ability came as a surprise to Ms. Goode.
Meanwhile, Zoe discovered the power of not being a useless character. She rallied her fellow witches to find Madison and then integrated the two greatest outliers in this story into the central storyline. Misty Day was brought into the fold in order to revive Madison. You’d think Zoe would have learned her lesson about raising the dead. Kyle is still a hot mess, after freaking out and “breaking Stevie” Zoe figured the best way to keep him in check was to chain him up in the garden. But by all means, bring someone else back to life. I’m sure it’ll go better this time.
So not a lot happened this week, but it set up some things I’m very interested in seeing paid off. Like where Zoe gets the gall to claim she’s not interested in Kyle after he killed his mother. Bitch, you kill people with your vagina. Beggars can’t be choosers.
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