5 Things You Will Need for Creche Hunting Season

5 Things You Will Need for Creche Hunting Season

You can see them if you pay close attention.  They are the Creche Hunters.

They are among us, standing next to us in line at the store, sitting in the Chevy Volt next to you at the traffic light and maybe even next to you at your favorite watering hole; you cannot see them immediately, as they blend in with everybody else.

While your mind might be on a Black Friday deal or how badly the Bulls are going to do without Derrick Rose, they are seething with rage and on the hunt, camouflaged in a bad sweater.

Like any hunter there is a season — a season for deer, for elk, for moose.

Today, Black Friday,  is the start of Creche Hunting Season.  Those who have it in personally for Baby Jesus are going to be on the hunt for any errant creches that somehow make it on to the city square or school stage or any tax- payer semi–funded location or event.   Creches on public land is not to be tolerated.

This year, in the spirit of the Christmas season, I have taken Adult Jesus at his word, and I am trying to show some love to my enemies — or His enemies anyway and I will try to make the Creche Hunter’s job easier.

For those new to Creche Hunting I am going to offer a few tips on the hunt and how to dress the kill.


Forget being green, even though it is one o the colors of Creche Hunting season, as getting around on a bicycle is not practical.  A car is needed to cover ground quickly, and a pick-up truck or van is preferred.

Enhanced Vision

Night vision goggles are a must for bagging a creche late at night after the floodlights may be off.  At the very least binoculars are a must.

Internet Access

Access to the Baby Jesus’  haters Facebook pages are a must, as the Creche Hunter must post the trophies on the page and brag about separation of church and state and how they are saving the Republic.


To tie down your trophy in the van or truck.  Or, if the Creche Hunter wants to brag, across the hood of the same.


Creches are harder to find than in past years, as their numbers have been done in by rabid Creche Hunters across the country.


At this point no license is needed or creche hunting.  All that is needed is an inflated sense of self-righteousness and hate in the heart.

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