I hate to admit that I procrastinate, but I do. I put off doing major things that are important I’m not talking about laundry, or cleaning my closet, or developing some kind of system to manage my bills. I procrastinate with all of those things, but I’m not really concerned about those because eventually you get it done. I mean, even if you never organize bills, the utility companies have a wonderful, structured system to help you remember you need to pay them. We all know they will simply disconnect your service. Same with laundry. You can let it pile high as you like because guess what? Eventually you have to wash some clothes. Those are easy. I know how to handle that.
I procrastinate with MAJOR things like my book I know I need to write. I actually have several books in my head that I want to write, and I have even more that I’ve started in journals with notes and sticky tabs and highlighted sections where I’ve encouraged myself by scribbling, “Write the book!!!” But, I don’t. I never really took the time to think about why I procrastinate because I give myself the same lame excuses we all tell ourselves that we have convinced ourselves are true.
I don’t have enough time.
I’m too busy.
I need to use this time to focus on laundry, and cleaning, and bills.
But it’s not that.
I’ve taken some time recently to work on my mindset–to really think about what it is I’m thinking, and I’ve uncovered some very disturbing things which on the surface I would never admit about myself. You see, most people see me as confident and courageous and charismatic, and to the public, I am. But, when you start examining your mind and are willing to shine a light on your dark places, you uncover things about yourself–at least I did–and what I have found is something that has nothing to do with any simple steps for overcoming procrastination. I found something quite different.
What I uncovered about myself is that I procrastinate because ultimately, I don’t feel worthy. I mean, “Really?”, says my inner demon of doubt and discouragement….
Who wants to read YOUR book?
What do YOU even have to write about?
Who really wants to read YOUR story?
It’s really quite sad to have found that I procrastinate because I don’t believe in myself.
That’s a hard pill to swallow.
But as they say, “Once you know better, you do better.” Or, as the Bible puts it, “In all thy getting, get an understanding.”
Now I KNOW why I procrastinate, and I understand why I do it, so now I can begin the healing process.
You see, five simple steps to avoid procrastination won’t help me believe in myself. I may manage my time better. I may become more organized, I may pay my bills on time, but it doesn’t get me to the root of the problem, which is my lack of belief in myself. Where I developed this I’m not sure, and I’m not even sure it matters, although I am sure that this is possibly yet another book I could write. Nevertheless, I want to heal.
I DO believe I have something valuable to contribute to the world.
I DO believe people will want to actually take the time to read the words I am inspired to write.
I DO believe in me, and so I owe it to myself to break this barrier and begin the writing process.
I don’t know if, or why, you procrastinate, but if you do, I sure hope you will take the time to ask yourself “Why?” Who knows, you may even have a book inside of you to help the world discover their worth.
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