Okay Willie Wilson supporters. You win. I read your comments that you so kindly shared with me after writing what I thought was a heartfelt open letter to Dr. Willie Wilson. (Click here to read my letter.) You are absolutely right. I am not a politician. I do not live in the city anymore, thank God. I have not made a gazillion dollars speaking “the King’s English” as several of you commented. I’m just a blogger, born and raised on the South side of Chicago, watching this entire mayoral race unfold, who happens to be inspired by people like Willie Wilson who demonstrate the truth of one of my favorite proverbs, which is: “All hard works brings a profit, but mere talk leads to poverty.” (Prov 14: 23). But here’s the reality of the situation: I may not live in the city anymore, and I may not have a million dollars, but guess what? There are millions of people in Chicago who have the same problems with Willie Wilson that I shared. They may not click the “like” button on my blog, and they may not be as vocal as I, but trust and believe, in private discussions about this mayoral race, they are not going to vote for Willie Wilson.
With that being said, I have decided to reach out to Willie Wilson supporters, and to Dr. Wilson himself, to help with his campaign, particularly since Thursday night is a big night with the debate on ABC’s Channel 7 at 7PM. Since my original attempt at writing in love was not receptive to his audience, I have decided to address him by using two popular, iconic black American female characters, since I liken myself to be a cross between the two. One of these women tops the charts every week, and the other is on the rise. But both of these black female characters command attention. Therefore, I believe, if a person in the form of this character were one of the “Friends of Willie Wilson,” these are simple, effective suggestions she would give, since the kind and loving supporters of Dr. Willie Wilson told me essentially, to go and take my bible, and shove it.
I now introduce to you, one at a time, a hybrid character I have created just for you Dr. Wilson. Now introducing, Ms. Cookie Pope.
And who better to start this discussion with than the ultimate gladiator herself–a woman known to help people win campaign races. Enter stage left: Olivia Pope.
Here is the first thing Olivia would say to help your campaign, in any coat of your liking.
“Dr. Wilson, you are not going to win this race. The people of Chicago need someone strong, assertive, confident, creative, with an ability to inspire others. Right now, sir, you do not do that. But we can fix that, if you want to win. But you must listen to me very carefully because I am talking fast and I have several other important people to see and things to do. Or people to do and things to see. Either way, I’m in a hurry and I’m wearing my fabulous coat and I don’t have much time. Here’s the first thing you need to do…
1. Drink some tea before every interview, because sir, every time you begin to answer a question, you sound as if you are going to cough up a fur ball. It’s distracting. It’s disgusting. Don’t do that. Have you watched your interview with MSNBC’s Chris Matthews? That, sir, was a train wreck.
Click here to see what I mean.
2. Don’t start sentences with numbers, and when you do, slow down and enunciate them, or else, people will not understand you, or take you seriously.
She would further add, “It’s not my job to explain, nor is it my fault, that people have created the stereotypes that they have for blacks. My job is to change the perception that people have of YOU, a black man running for mayor against the political machine, Dr. Wilson. So you need to listen to me because this next point is important because it’s multifaceted…”
3. About your commercials–Do not run another ad campaign of you in that brown suit. Do not sit in that living room. And for heaven’s sake, stop playing that sad, sing-song-y Mr. Rogers music you have going in the background. That’s not working. Everybody knows you have invested millions into this campaign, so use some of that money to buy a new suit, and create a different setting. You tell Chicagoans to vote for you because you are personable and relatable, but you look like you’re sitting up in some penthouse. And why is there a crane in the shot? For heaven’s sake, Huck, go kill the crane operator and get it out of the scene!
Now that’s just a few things Olivia would have to say. But Fox TV’s leading lady of “Empire”, Miss Cookie herself, has a few words for you.
Enter Stage Right: Miss Cookie.
4. Take that brown fur hat off yo’ head! Look at the other people in the picture of you on the Internet. One has on a baseball cap. And the other has on a man’s hat. Bu’chu. You got on a fur hat that sparkles with some kind of sheen or something in the sun. Come on Willie. Black man. Fur hat. Really? Do you want to win?!?! Stop fitting the stereotype and take that hat off! Everybody knows a black man can’t win a mayoral race in Chicago wearin’ no fur hat. Good Lord!
And here’s the last thing Cookie would tell Willie Wilson.
5. Stop using the title ‘Dr.’ Yes, it’s admirable that you were the recipient of honorary awards. And we know all kinds of people have received them. But in your case, when you use it without having actually EARNED it, it only amplifies your shortcomings. You admit not having completed elementary school. Build on you being a common man, not a scholar. You ain’t ’bout that life.”
Those were the suggestions of Miss Cookie Pope. America loves TV and fiction, so maybe that is more palatable that an honest, open letter written in love. At the end of my open letter, one person asked if I ever thought that Wilson’s campaign tactic was to shake things up a bit. And yes, in fact, I have thought of that, and so have many others. There are all kinds of layers of strategies to try to dismantle Rahm’s reign. Hopefully, Mr. Wilson is thinking along those lines. Otherwise, he is making a million dollar rainfall in futility.
Keep the discussion going and share your comments below. I want to hear from you!