Yes, this theme was mostly my idea. Yes, I picked out the dress. Yes, I do look like this everyday, all the time, never a hair out of place. And, no, I am not wearing any make-up…I am naturally that stunning. (okay, maybe a smidge……okay, I was hit in the face with a giant powder puff like on Looney Tunes.) But…still…when I opened my browser for the first time…..
Oh, yay! I’m so excited to see how the photoshoot turned out! I wonder what this is going to look like?! My editor is the best. Let’s just click on this url. Do, do, do, dooo, do, d….. That. is. me. Oh. My. God. THAT. IS. ME. That’s me, right? Whoa! Get on, girl! I’d like to thank the Academy. I’d like to thank the fabulous designer, Mike, and the genius photographer, Chase. Steph, get up here! Oh…wait…W..W..M…M…S?
My mother is a beautiful woman, both inside and out. I’m not just sucking up to her so that she doesn’t try to ship me off to a convent. I look like her carbon copy with dark brown hair, fair skin and dark blue eyes. She’s the world’s most amazing mom! She bakes, she cooks, she can moonwalk (for real) and she throws the coolest themed New Year’s Eve parties for her group of friends. But, let’s just be honest…I wasn’t allowed to watch MTV until I was 18.
My mom is really good at being a mom and from my perspective it’s hard to see her in any other role. Lavonne the Mom would ground me from telephone use for a month for such a banner image. My favorite memories of my mom, however, are when you can see cracks in the mom veneer and the cuttingly hilarious, devilishly stylish woman peeps through. I didn’t just become this woman all by myself! My mom always encouraged me to look up to strong, independent, intelligent women. Women from the city who say “darling”, have great careers and are just generally fabulous.
After the initial shock wears off, I think she’ll be really proud. I’ve grown up into the type of woman she always admired. And I think that’s pretty cool.
That or I’ll just start telling people the girl on the banner is her. We DO look pretty much identical.
What Would Your Mom Say?
Two Bonus Stories About My Mom:
- My dad had just come back from a business trip. He comes downstairs from his home office and says to my mom, “Honey, after all that time on the road, your man wants a hot breakfast.” My mom responds, “Well, then you better set those cornflakes on fire.”
- I was in 8th grade and my mom and I were fighting about something or other. She turns to the side and sees an lawyer’s ad on the back of the phonebook. In the middle of scolding me, she rips off the back cover and yells “I am so sick of seeing his ugly face!”
UPDATE: My mom totally doesn’t get my humor. Since I displayed pictures of her to a bunch of random strangers, I felt compelled to share a link. Below is a dramatization of how that went down…