The Bachelor and his mean girls, is this how you get the guy?

The Bachelor and his mean girls, is this how you get the guy?

I think that in the future ABC should change the name of this ever popular reality series to the Bachelor and The Bitches. I readily admit that I can’t seem to stop watching but make no mistake: it’s not because I believe anyone has a real shot at finding love. Statistically the show has had a failure rate almost as bad as Maury Povich’s daily paternity tests. It’s a train wreck; yet oddly addictive.

This season we have Bachelor Ben Flajnik who despite his bad haircut and humiliating turn on The Bachelorette came back to “find love”. It wasn’t enough to be turned down in a horribly painful to watch proposal where he was left sitting on one knee wondering what the hell had just happened. He is back with a brood of women the likes of which I can’t claim to have ever seen on the show.

We know that the producers look for drama which of course attracts more viewers. Hence, ME. It’s no wonder that in my younger single days the majority of my close friends were male. Not to date; just to have friends that weren’t catty. People that I could talk to without all the competition. You can’t possibly sign on to do a show like this and expect everyone to get along. Women are catty, women are competitive. Women can be high riding bitches.

On this show 25 women are put together to fight for the attention of 1 man. Is it really possible for 25 women to all LOVE Ben after a cocktail party where they spoke for 5 minutes? Is it really possible for all those women to love a man with a strong resemblance to the Geico caveman? Most have no real interest other than it becomes a game.

The odd thing is that the people that subject themselves to being on the show know what they are getting into. They have had at least 15 seasons of the Bachelor (not including the Bachelorette) to watch and all but one failed. And that one had it’s share of drama. We all watch week after week as the person tells each contestant how wonderful they are, how they have feelings for them and they always throw in a steamy hot tub kiss or 10.

I am ashamed sometimes to be a female and see what some women will do for attention. We complain about being objectified yet we can see for ourselves that women use their sexuality to win the man’s attention. And in this case it appears that the man has fallen for at least one woman who is using her “assets” to her advantage. And when she succeeds, how she enjoys flaunting it to the other women.

A long time ago I was dating someone who at the time was the man/boy of my dreams. He always told me how I was a refreshing change from his ex because she was such a bitch. I was so nice. But then he went back to her. I decided right then that the way to get a guy and keep him is to be a bitch. Not that that was what I decided to do, but I realized I had to be more aggressive, more direct.

Several of the women this season are just pure and bonafide bitches. They exemplify the term; they make it look so easy to be mean. And Ben in all his “down to earth and looking for love” persona has a serious several minute lip lock with a “nice” girl then moves on to do the same and more intensely with one of the “bitches” as the nice girl looks on. Later he has a date with the other resident bitch and lo and behold, he loves her as well. They are cavity inducing sweet to his face with their claws hidden until they are with the other girls. Then the cattiness begins.

In one of my favorite movies of all time, “Dolores Claiborne” is one of my favorite quotes. “Sometimes Dolores, you have to be a high riding bitch to survive. Sometimes, being a bitch is a all women has to hang onto.” ┬áIs that what it takes to get what we want?

I have an extreme fascination with this show as I try to study the psyche of the contestants. One conclusion I have drawn is that many of the girls should be spending a lot of time in therapy instead of the hours they invested being on the show. Or, they should be going to weekly AA meetings. Again, it’s a train wreck type of interest that glues me to the television every Monday night.

I would love to poll the reading audience on this one. Who thinks that bitchy women get further in life? What type of contestant would you be?






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  • Well, consider the quality of the guy they're competing for.

    I consider these contestants and their prize not much more than a step above the fools expose their unraveling lives on Jerry Springer.

  • In reply to Andy Frye:

    Amen brother Andy, Amen.

  • I would never be a contestant on that show. It's not that I'm above it all. It's because I have short hair. There has never been a Bachelor contestant with short hair.

  • In reply to Christine Whitley:

    I totally see what you mean!! Kinda like beauty pageants. And I think short hair is so chic!!

  • Well, I just finished watching last night's episode. I like Ben alright, but he is clearly a geek thrust into the role of stud. In a bar, with other options, many of these birds would never look twice at Ben.

    As for me? I am thoroughly and completely a Mary Ann who likes to dress like a Ginger.

    Thanks for the chuckles!

  • In reply to Mary Tyler Mom:

    I can't agree more that Ben is a geek and would never be so sought after were he not the Bachelor. Can't wait for next week, looks really juicy!! Thanks for reading Sheila!

  • So this is the year I turn 50 (and I have a son in his "terrible 3's" - oh yay). This is also the year I resolved to become more "bitchy." Not like Ben Flajnik's Girls Bitchy (with a capital B!) but more like my husband saying, "you need to stop being such a pushover, so accommodating, etc....."

    Well, to date, I have tried to implement this two times with my clients (I am a lawyer). Both times left clients miffed - "What happened to the nice lawyer we used to have? The one we used to walk all over?!!" Now I am left trying to figure out how to assure my clients I can bring back that old nice lawyer!

    I guess if you want to succeed as a bitch, you have to start young :)

  • In reply to jiyer:

    You hit the nail on the head, start young and people just expect it! Change your ways when you're older and there's something wrong with you. Thanks as always for your insight!

  • In reply to Teppi Jacobsen:

    There are plenty of guys out there too who are willing to encourage (put up with) bitchy behavior - especially if she is a young and pretty bitch! And it can start young - during our recent travels, my 3 yr. old son put me on alert to this fact when he developed an utter infatuation with a cute-as-a-button 3 yr. old girl who slapped him (hard!) and threatened to throw him in the lake because he refused to hold her hand. How he could possibly have still liked this girl defies logic, but he dutifully obeyed and held her hand (I've got some work to do here, clearly)

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