After this year’s Black Friday extravaganza of earlier than ever store openings, “biggest sales ever” and the myriad of other crazy offers I decided to compile a “Letterman” list of my top ten reasons that perhaps we should reconsider it’s value.
10) Pepper Spray. Seems instead of using it for protections against rapists, muggers and general thugs, people are now using it as a form of “competitive shopping”. Why play fair when you can burn someone’s eyes out?
9) Tasers. Just how bad do you need that video game for your kid? Let’s say you are with your kid and he gets knocked to the ground by the mom who swore she wouldn’t come home without that same video game you were planning to buy. You try to help your kid up but you are assaulted by yet another person. You end up in a fist fight and you are tasered by security. Maybe you were actually being filmed for a new video game, say Postal 3? (Postal 2 is bad, very bad)
8) Thieves. It’s perfectly natural to go out shopping at 3AM with a wad of cash in your purse or a wallet filled with credit cards. Particularly when you park in a dark area of a parking lot and you are alone. However, when doing so please don’t be surprised when you are mugged.
7) Stampedes. I know that you all think you can outrun, outsmart or outwit other crazed shoppers but beware. Some spend years studying and practicing this art form. They have it down to a science. It’s almost like that game show “Minute to win it”. Those people practice ahead of time. So, in light of this, you could die. It’s happened before. It can happen again.
6) Scams. The 60″ flat screen HDTV for $49 is probably not really $49. That’s for the box. And they may have only two, so after that they can tell everyone they are sold out.
5) Horrible customer service. I don’t know about you, but something about having to leave your family on Thanksgiving night to go to work just doesn’t put anyone in a good mood. Those that had to are most likely in a tryptophan coma, have had a couple cocktails and have to deal with the 100 people that are angry at the fact that the two flat screen TV’s are gone. At 3AM if they are lucky to have worked a short shift, they get to drive home, half asleep in the middle of the night alone.Now I ask you, would you be happy to wait on you?
4) Christmas sales are moving back every year. This year we moved the kick off of the season to the night before. At least in prior years it was only at the relatively obscene hours of 5 or 6AM. With it’s apparent success before you know it Black Friday will start on a Tuesday in July.
3) Hoarding. We all know that alot of shopping is impulse even on a normal day. So when you are in a shopping frenzy you are more than likely going to buy more things you don’t need because they are the “best deal ever”. You really don’t need flat screen TV’s in your garage, bathroom, outdoor shed and laundry room.
2) The Red. You know, the place you go when you spend too much on black friday.
1) The number one reason to stop shopping on Black Friday: Stop making Christmas all about “things”. Make it more about what the season is supposed to be – filled with love and gratitude. Not with TV’s and piles of bills and ripped up wrapping paper. Let’s get back to our roots folks. I know some of you out there can’t always afford certain things. Shame on retailers for never giving you an opportunity to buy those items at these same prices on a Tuesday in July.
Oh, and one last thing. Happy holidays.
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