End of the world: does that make the bucket list the f--k it list??

I’m kind of aggravated that I didn’t hear about this end of the world stuff until today. Apparently tomorrow at 5:59pm we are going to feel an earthquake which will be followed by only worthy people being instantly transported to heaven. The rest of us poor schmucks will be left here until October 21st when the planet will blow up. Until that time we are supposed to be pretty miserable. 

Great. I’m 53 and still have a fairly lengthy bucket list. So if tomorrow is it, I never got to do the following:
1. Bowl 300
2. Dive into a pool without doing a belly flop
3) Star in a movie opposite Robert Redford
4) Try stand-up comedy
5) Have SNL actually use a sketch I write
6) Meet Elton John
7) See the pyramids in Egypt while riding a camel
8) Tell off an old boyfriend that ripped my heart out of my chest and ran a car over it
9) Audition for Project Runway
10) Live in Paris for at least a year and pretend to know French
11) Liposuction my saddle bags
12) Meet Elton John
13) Buy a Chanel handbag without worrying about the cost
14) Write a book that more than one person reads (me)
15) Did I mention meet Elton John?
There are quite a few other things that I’m sure I would love to do but since I only have about 18 hours, I best get started. Or just say f–k it, I’ve had a pretty good run. 

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