My Food Shall Remain Separate & Never the Twain Shall Meat

My Food Shall Remain Separate & Never the Twain Shall Meat

I don’t know when it started but I like my food not to c-ohabitate.
Maybe this goes back to my late father always buying plastic plates with the three dividers that looked like a steering wheel from the wholesale shop on east 71st Street.

But its even deeper than that.

I eat my food in order, meaning I always go meat, potatoes/pasta and then veggies but always start with salad and end with dessert.

Meaning I eat all of my meat then get into my starch, then my veggies, I don’t back and forth.

Yeah I know people say “it all ends up in the same place”, but not on my watch.

I’m a serious home BBQ cook, and I like to savor my food (though if you saw how fast I eat you;d have your doubts), and not corrupt it with other food.

And yes I’m anal about flavor (I hope I’m saying that right or else that’s a nasty fetish), I use herbs and pepper but never salt. I have high blood pressure, hmmh, being so particular about the order and segregation of food I wonder why but I’m all about food tasting good.

I have no patience for bad food, so yes I have lots of issues with chain restaurants that serve ridiculous medleys of food and then cover it all with cheese.

Did I mention I’m lactose intolerant?

Yeah no wonder I’ma¬† home chef, there’s no way anyone can satisfy my eclectic palate, ridiculous plating and obsessive order of consumption.

The first time I had dinner at my in laws when I first met my wife, my mother in law was stunned when she saw the way I eat and said, “there’s another one”. Turns on my brother in law (a well respected attorney), also east in order.

I was on a really bad date once (at my favorite Bourgeois Pig in Lincoln Park), and my date stared at me as I ate a panini, chips and cake in meticulous order. Not to mention I always have cut food with my right hand and use that same hand for my fork but while I’m cutting food I switch the fork back and forth to hold the meat, then back to eat the meat.

Yeah I’ma real cut up.

I don’t how I got this way, I’ve been eating at fine restaurants all my life, my aunt and late uncle lived in the Gold Coast in the late 70’s through the mid 80’s. As a child I experienced such pleasures as Harry’s Cafe, the original Sweetwater (now Gibsons), the original Blackhawk restaurant, Hillary’s on the 7th floor of Water Tower and the old Waterfront.

So its not that I’m pick about food, I’m good with steak on the north side, fried chicken on my native southside and killer BBQ out here in Will County.

I just want to make sure my food has its respected place and sequence, that’s all.

Does that make me nuts? Well that depends, I do like roasted peanuts but afterwards need to wash it down with a beer and must be in that order….


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    Charles W. Johnson

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