So you know when you’re a kid and you see your parent’s flaws and you think, I’ll never be like that.
Yeah well since now I’m a dad I have to embrace all of my father’s legacy and personality, not just the fun and wonderful stuff.
I mostly don’t have a choice because a lot of it is coming out in me.
Around this time two years ago I was flying home from Arizona after a week watching spring training baseball and during the flight I was thinking about life without my dad.
At that time he was in bad shape, unconscious on a respirator and not much of a chance for recovery. It was about this time I had to think about how I would honor him and live on without him.
As well as all I learned from him good and bad.
My father was married twice, was very social, he used to say he had “many associates but a few friends” and at times it seemed his social life took over his life and his family life wasn’t as important.
I swore back then that would “never be me”, I’d always put my family first.
Fast forward 30 years, I now struggle with the balance of family and friends. I too like my father am social, I have an excellent circle of good friends and even tighter group of close friends and we go back like rocking chairs.
I did the whole thing of basically not going out at all and concentrating on home and honestly made myself nuts.
So in the past month I’ve made an effort to get out and see some old friends and those who have young children I’ve done the “play date” thing and it’s great. I get to be social and my son gets to make new friends.
But like my dad I need to work on the most important relationships too, that with my wife.
I’m all about making myself better, reaching higher, doing more. If you read this blog regularly you’ve noticed there’s a lot more of them because 3-4 nights a week I’m up writing this and doing professional Linked in blogs.
My dad loved to create, he did woodworking the last 25 years of his life. You name it, he built it, signs, birdhouses, tables and shelves. He was prolific for a time with his work and that’s where I get my passion. It’s almost an obsession at times to just pour all of this out and just create, create, create.
But it’s almost at a risk of ignoring those closest to us and maybe taking them for granted and not making them better too.
Sure their needs maybe met but there’s nothing great about losing yourself in your art but not putting your heart in your relationships.
So I need to no longer think I’m doing a better job than my late dad.
It’s humbling when you realize you carry the same faults that he did and you sometimes struggle like he did.
As great as he was, he’d be quick to tell you he was not a perfect man.
And neither am I.
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Filed under: African American History