Every week I sit here and write about faith, I quote scripture, I mention some personal anecdotes but then after I turn the computer off I have to “live the faith”.
It is not easy.
I have struggled more than you know with so many issues, things that I may not have thought a whole lot of before I started writing my weekly religious piece two months ago.
The term “opening your eyes”, doesn’t even start to cover the subject.
It’s more of living up to God’s expectations and my own expectations and using the interpretations from the very scripture I quote in everyday life. Trust me it’s easy to be all full of faith when it’s convenient.
We can be holy on Sunday morning with no problem and for me on Monday or Tuesday night when I write this. Try keeping the faith Friday night, or during a marital argument or a bad day at work.
Not so easy right?
I’ve been completely embarrassed with my own behavior or thoughts many times just in the last few weeks. I’ve had to forgive myself (not as easy as it sounds), but also “check myself” from what would normally be actions that are a little out of character but nothing too bad.
No it is “too bad” because I know I’m better than that, am I hard on myself? You bet.
And I’ve always taken religion seriously.
I started as an altar server the summer I was ten years old (1986), I still think highly of that time in my life. I served mass all the time over the next eight years, culminating serving the Chicago Catholic high school mass at Holy Name Cathedral near the end of my senior year at Brother Rice.
But I also always had internal strife too and I have some understanding on what some people in ministry go through in balancing faith and the “real world”. You can’t separate yourself physically and really shouldn’t do it spiritually either.
Its in First Corinthians (6:19-20), “Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.”
It may sound crazy but I have tried to have “non Catholic moments”, sounds ridiculous right? That’s like me not being Charles. Being Catholic is who I am and it doesn’t mean I always agree with the church but it means I believe.
I mean to this day I have moments of being a “convenient Catholic” that I could TRY and live part of my life (or have beliefs), that don’t acknowledge my faith. Literally treating my faith like a light switch that I can turn off but you know where that leaves you?
In the dark.
And what you do in the dark will come to light.
John tells us (12:35), Then Jesus told them, “You are going to have the light just a little while longer. Walk while you have the light, before darkness overtakes you. Whoever walks in the dark does not know where they are going.”
I’ll be honest there are times I put myself in “time out”, no different than we do a child for the same reason, I need to think about what I did or said and just reset myself.
As adults and especially adults in faith we should it try it. If you feel yourself drifting off God’s path or expectations and just stop. Then gather yourself and then follow the light again.
Because none of us wants to live in the dark.
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Filed under: Church