I wear a size 12 womens shoe...and by the way I'm 255 lbs

Message sent to me: “Welcome to ChicagoNow’s Blogapalooz-Hour!  Your challenge, if you choose to accept it, is to publish a post in one hour. Here is tonight’s challenge:  “Write about something in your life you once obsessed about but now rarely, if ever, think about” (Can be a good or bad obsession, about a person, place or thing.)”


By the time my feet finally stopped growing and it was time to buy my 8th grade graduation shoes, I was officially wearing a woman’s 12W.  Ummm, that “w” stands for “wide.”  To have feet bigger than most guys your age–ahhh, what a perfect gift for that awkward adolescent girl!

That was always a huge source of embarrassment for me.  Somewhere in a parallel universe, my 13-year old self is locking herself in her room intending to spend a few years there to recover from the shame of me telling you that. The 2017 Me with thirty more years of life experience could not give a rat’s left ass cheek if the whole world knows. I’m so far removed from it that it’s even hard for me to remember and explain why that troubled me so.  Especially since I learned about all of the famous women who share my situation (Paris Hilton?  Tyra Banks? Uma Thurman? Kate Winslet? Audrey Hepburn? ).  All I can say is Thank The Lord for age, experience and self-acceptance.

While we’re over-sharing (thank you, Oprah, for helping us move into a brand new world with no filters),  I’m also willing to tell you that at 5’8″, I currently weigh 255 lbs.  (Uh-oh!  Somebody grab that 13-year old girl before she locks herself in the closet of that locked bedroom.)  Now I know that’s not particularly healthy.  Yes of course I would like to slim down, get fit and feel better in my clothes.  Yes, I acknowledge that carrying extra weight–especially around the midsection–is unhealthy for anyone including a woman of my age.

Pepe Le Pew likes his women with substance

Pepe Le Pew likes his women with substance

But it’s not awful either.  It’s better than a year ago since I’m down from 273 lbs.  (And thankfully, I don’t really look like it.  And I’m not offering you my own opinion.  I’m basing that on that majority of people over my lifespan–doctors and health professionals included–who have seen me first then found out how much I weigh.)  I’ve always been what Pepe Le Pew would call “so round, so firm, so fully packed.”  I’m just a densely proportioned girl.

What I am not willing to do is go around beating myself up mentally for how I look and the skin I’m in.  Because that mentality rarely helps anyone to work on the things they can change about themselves and gracefully accept the things they cannot.


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