I stumbled upon this photo and found myself staring at it for awhile. I remember my 28 year old husband taking these photos almost ten years ago. I distinctly remember feeling fat and not confident in my body.
Bringing myself back to that time, I vividly remember nervous for work meetings or night out because I wasn’t comfortable in my body as a pregnant lady. I knew a lot less ten years ago and clearly had less confidence. I admire those that display their bump with pride, but I wasn’t that woman.
Looking at this photo, I see a normal size young woman with a baby in her belly. At the time, I felt million sizes bigger than I now see in the photos.
I’m frustrated that I didn’t appreciate the beauty of my pregnancy as I would today. When I look a decade later at the outcome of those nine months, I can’t believe I didn’t embrace my growing body.
I must admit, I am proud to say that I do not see a fat person in the above photo. To me, that is growth. As I’ve lived my thirties and experienced more, I am in awe of my body that it created a thriving, complicated and unbelievably loved person (twice!)
Years later I can now admit I was apprehensive, self doubting and uncomfortable being pregnant, but excited to become a mother.
Lots has changed since those photos were taken in our first condo (why was I standing right next to the thermostat?) and I am sad I will never be back to those new transitional moments. As life continues, I am grateful for the lessons learned and the poise and ease gained.
Did you feel beautiful when you were pregnant? Do you ever look at old photos and remember feeling fat when you weren’t?
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