A Letter to My Four Year Old

A Letter to My Four Year Old
Just when I am getting angry, she gives me this.

Dear Mini Me,

Let me begin by telling you that I love you more than you will ever realize.  Maybe when you become a mother and have a little girl of your own you will understand.

I wish your little toddler brain could comprehend that I tell you all of this because I love you and not because I am a mean mom.   I do not want to scream at you, take away your toys or send you to your room, but I am not sure how else to communicate with you at this difficult age.

We tried sitting down and having a conversation, but you put your hands over your ears and said you weren’t listening to me.  Where did you learn this?  School?  TV? I know I can’t shelter you from experiencing and copying other behaviors, but these new habits you are picking up are frustrating to say the least.

Sometimes I worry your sassy attitude and lack of listening came from me.  Have I become a bad example for you? Or maybe we are too similar that both of our strong wills and perseverance is causing us to butt heads. We know how to push each other’s buttons, which are the same, and confuse the issue at hand.

What I want to tell you is that I am striving to mold you into a moral, generous and kind person.  My rules are for your own good.  I know that doesn’t make sense now, I didn’t get it when Grandma used to say it to me.  But, now as an adult I get it.

Apple slices and almonds are healthy foods that will give you energy to play and grow into a big girl and I am sorry I won’t allow you to eat gummy bears at 9 a.m.  The sugar makes you hyper, not to mention what it does to your teeth, which you won’t let me help you brush.

I wish you wouldn’t say “no” every time I ask you to use the potty before we leave the house.  I understand you are trying to be independent, but I also know that you will need to go later when we are in the car and I am not sure we will be able to stop and find a clean potty in time.

Getting dressed for school, brushing your hair and teeth, cleaning your room, taking a bath and going to bed are all responsibilities that are important for you to comprehend in order to grow up and have good hygiene and habits.  What can I do to make these everyday tasks less of a struggle?  I don’t want to bribe you as I feel it is important to teach you about taking care of yourself.

This power struggle between you and me hurts and I’m scared of the future, as I know it will only get more challenging.  How can I parent you to become this intuitive, creative, funny, fast thinking and lovely person when it often feels like a battle?

Any advice or tips would be helpful.  Please remember regardless of all the whining, I always will love you and be there for you.



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