A few days ago I read a thought provoking blog by a brave, new mom. She included the lyrics of a heartfelt Ani Difranco song and opined how she does not want her infant daughter to grow up with the same insecurities that she has.
I’ve been noticing recently how it is common for family members to tell me how my daughter looks exactly like me. Well, obviously I think my daughter is the cutest girl in the whole world. If she looks just like me, does that mean that I am the cutest girl in the whole world too?
Looking in the mirror I don’t see the sparkle and purity that I see in my offspring. I notice black circles under my eyes, overgrown eyebrows and yellowing teeth. When my daughter looks up at me with her baby blues and outstretched arms wishing to be held close to me, it seems I might be the most perfect woman in her little world. Which is amazing. Why don’t I echo similar positive thoughts about the way I appear in my mirror?
I’m often told that I look like my mom. Yes, we both have the same blue eyes and similar facial structure. My mom, who is beautiful in my mind, is concerned about her aging skin. I hesitate to write about my mom’s wrinkles, as I don’t want to reinforce a negative concept or image. I wonder why growing older is considered a failure in our society? We cannot be young forever, but we can be role models and teachers that help shape our granddaughter and daughter into the female they are and will become.
Are we too hard on ourselves? I know I am not alone as I read blog posts daily about feeling confident in one’s own skin. I choose my words carefully when speaking to my children and teaching them not to use words like fat and hate. I think more important then the language we use, it is the example that we set. The confidence we demonstrate when looking at our own reflection.
so i’m beginning to see some problems
with the ongoing work of my mind
and i’ve got myself a new mantra
it says: “don’t forget to have a good time”
I am humbled and honored for my daughter to be my mini me.
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