He doesn't need to see you again and that's okay

Most of us women are guilty of this mentality. The post breakup mindset of “he just needs to see me one more time and it will all be okay!” 

As much as we like to deny that we are bothered by a breakup, most of us, if not ALL of us have had these thoughts. Including myself. I convinced myself that visiting my ex boyfriend in Chicago one last time before he moves to Pennsylvania would convince him to stay. That it might somehow rekindle the fire of our past relationship. I couldn’t have been more wrong. 

 

Last week, after an awkward ice cream date with a friend of a friend, I was inspired to text my ex…I know…never a good idea. It was just one of those bad dates where all I could think about the entire time was how much I wish I was with another person. That so-called other person just so happened to be my ex boyfriend. 

 

I felt as though the universe had aligned and the timing couldn’t have been more perfect. He was in Chicago! After months of us not communicating and assuming he had moved back to his home state of Pennsylvania for good, I was ecstatic that he had told me that he would be in Chicago the next day one last time to officially move out of his apartment. I offered to help him pack just so I could see him one last time. But in the back of my mind, I felt it all to be game over. I had won! All it would take is for him to see me and everything would go back to the way it was. Hell, I figured I’d be helping him move his things out from the moving van and back into his apartment! I laugh about that now. 

 

To summarize that day, it went…fine. I was happy to see him and our conversations felt just as they did when we were together. For me, the feelings were still there, which is why it hurt so much when my “he just needs to see me again” fantasy didn’t come true. He didn’t stop packing his boxes. I didn’t convince him to stay. And neither will you. According to the wise words of Alex from the movie He’s Just Not That Into You (which I may or may not have watched after that day) you’re either the exception or the rule. You’re either the rare case where he would stay or you’re like the majority, and it doesn’t take one last time to convince him differently. It’s easy to dwell on this reality but after giving it some thought, i’ve realized that it’s all for the best. The universe has a plan and does align. And one day you may just be the exception!

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