Over the last few years — after the more random dating phase — I’ve believed in having a level-headed, albeit “neutral” approach to love. To some degree, it’s been sort of how I treated my professional life: work hard, have a game plan, protect yourself and in the end, focus on what’s right for you. While that’s mighty practical, it also doesn’t account for the emotional realities and challenges that creep in… And it’s also a little too safe of a view love, I’ll admit. Kind of like a series of events as opposed to this big major force people have done crazy things for.
This is especially true when all facts point to one truth: love is really that one universal truth that people care about above all else. I mean, if Harvard and London School of Economics can come to the conclusion that love really is the thing, then I can stand to be a little flexible. Especially, since after a lot of skepticism and mixed emoti
ons. I would say that I’ve found that happiness again in Ned, after parting ways with Sav, and freeing myself from a relationship that had long before run its course in my heart.
I will guiltily admit I kept Ned under wraps for a long time… In fact we just celebrated our one year anniversary. But it wasn’t because I had anything to hide. On the contrary, I’m proud of us. The happiest I’ve ever been. And I bless Ned’s heart for being so patient, warm and comforting.
No, I needed time to get into us and to understand how I’ve grown and changed since my last relationship. I’ve learned such new different lessons and am now fueled by what I believe are some key truths about what being with Ned has taught me about loving and being in love:
- Every moment counts: It’s silly how much sitting on the couch with a glass of wine and Ned watching Netflix becomes so damn comforting. Or, a walk through the park for the millionth time. Even window shopping or groceries together. Each moment means I’ll learn something new and feel totally at ease with someone who really loves me.
- Even the tricky stuff is easy: When you have a tiff with your partner, or life gives you a moment, you may feel a certain way. Or getting too sick to get out of bed and having someone bring you your favorite comfort food. But it’s always amazing to work it out and you realize it’ll be OK… Because you care about someone so much and they about you that you care about getting through it.
- You feel amazing about yourself: I’ve always had a reasonable self-esteem. But, it’s like I feel even cockier. And as corny as this sounds, I feel kind of stronger, or a bit more powerful. Other than when I chose myself, it’s the best way to feel.
Now, all I can hope for is that it lasts. But if things change, knowing this is what it feels like makes it worth it… And me rediscovering my romantic optimism from my early days.