Dating habits to break: Kissing the metaphorical frogs

Dating habits to break: Kissing the metaphorical frogs
Is he another frog or is he your prince?

It’s good to be optimistic, some would say. You know, for reasons of positive energy, glass half full, that kind of stuff. Generally speaking, I agree… However, I’d argue that too much of it can be a dangerous situation in relationships. At least, I would say I have “suffered from” too much optimism when it comes to relationships… And it’s something I have to fix, STAT. In other words, I want to stop metaphorically kissing all these frogs to get to a prince.

Before I make this sound heinous, let me back up for a second.

Truthfully, I, like many, many, MANY young women bought into a fantasy of her guy, her future, her home, her marriage, her family. And, I still believe in all these things, even given my recent break-up.

However, one of the things that I can also say about it, both in meeting guys that eventually led me to Sav and even since him as I reconsider the dating world, is that I probably entertained way more dating options than I should have. This, in turn, meant I ended up ignoring the signs of a guy that just wasn’t right for me. Or, even worse, I saw things in a guy that ended up being illusions of what I wanted him to be… When he was nothing like it.

Case in point: Before I ended up with Sav, I tried to take a casual dating situation and turn it into something more… Which was a huge mistake because he didn’t want what I did. I knew his dating history with other women. And he was known to be a “Houdini” when things got serious. Just disappear on a girl. But because I needed to believe he was better than that with me, I went with it and ignored my judgment in the interest of having someone. Instead, I became just like every other girl and he blew me off.

One could argue that even being with Sav, there are things that I was probably overly optimistic about instead of logical about… In the hopes of seeing something or hoping something would change. But you can’t will away a person’s character or how they click with you. Sometimes, you have to trust your instincts and how things are going. But, when someone shows you who they are, believe them.

Before it sounds like I’m being a total Negative Nelly here (because I’m really not trying to be), all I’m saying is that what I want to stop is entertaining options with guys I know or feel deep down I may not want to see in a month, just to say I’m “seeing someone”…And then hope they become princes. Right now, this has all been quite slow since I’ve been really shy about diving deep into the dating pool and have been crawling at a snail’s pace with all this. But I’m hoping to keep reminding myself of all my past love lessons… And playing it much smarter this time around.

Eventually I’m hoping I’ll know when I’ve found my prince and NOT just another toad. Very hopefully.

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