Holiday Love Reflections: Don't Let The Past Dictate The Future

Girl erasing blackboard

Now that we’re approaching the end of another year, it’s easy to start making checklists of what you can do differently in the hopes things will be better than they were before (hence, the idea of resolution-making).

But, if you’re like most people, resolutions, while easy to make, are hard to stick to, mainly because you’re just not committed enough, your priorities have changed or some other variation of that.

However, have we ever tried, instead of making resolutions about what we’ll do differently, reflecting on what we did in the past year that didn’t work? Having a concrete list of the mistakes, especially in the relationship and love game, may be a way to consider what behaviors we’ll need to work on — and how we can grow from them…

I tried something like this last year, where I made notes of many of the things I felt didn’t go so hot, including dating. Then under them, I wrote down how they made me feel. I figured by understanding what I wasn’t happy with, then I would be in a position to try and make sure it didn’t happen again.

True — still working things out, and of course you can find things wrong for days. But, how can you fix something if you don’t understand it? It certainly won’t be an instant repair — but it sure can add clarity to a situation in ways you didn’t think possible.

That said, I’m going to share a few of my old favorites throughout the month, specifically in the love & relationship department. Of course, these are based on observations I’ve made, but maybe a few of them will work for you! And, if even they don’t, maybe it’s an interesting perspective and helps you as you think about how to make next year even more fabulous than the last!

And with that, my first lesson (and one that can be so hard to learn):

Don’t Let The Past Dictate The Future: Sounds like such an easy one… But often hard to remember.

Truth is, if you’ve been burned super badly, it’s hard to feel like you can ever recover — which means that anyone new that lands in your path may not stand a chance while you recover from the scars of past ghosts. And that becomes a huge roadblock to letting anyone new in — even if the situation is different.

The lesson here? What’s happened in the past is no measure for what’s to come… So don’t make it that way!

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