Sacrificing Friendship For a Fling? Not So Cool...

Angry Teen Girl

One of the things I love about the girls that I keep close is that despite it all, they’re loyal to the end. Sure we may clash, drive each other crazy at times… But they’re loyal, I can count on them, and when it comes to guys, we have it out so there’s no issue of fighting for or competing.

That’s why it was interesting to reminisce with my college friends about a common acquaintance, Diana. I hadn’t been quite as close to her as other friends of mine but the discussion a bunch of us had very recently was a clear reminder to me of how a little booty can often sidetrack a girl from staying true to her girls…

With regards to Diana, the Cliffs Notes version goes a little something like this: A college pal, Jasmine had a crush on a guy, Eli. Diana, instead of respecting that, horned in on him. Then, the plot thickens when Diana, after breaking up with Eli, decides she likes his best friend, Marcus. But there had been a spark going between him and Teresa, another mutual friend. And somehow, when Teresa and Marcus finally end up together, Diana trips out, upset at Teresa and flirts up a storm with Marcus, disrespecting Teresa.

Technical details aside, the main thing that got me thinking was how easily Diana got caught up in the guy as opposed to respecting the boundaries with her girls. Why was it so easy to turn against her girls for a guy?

That said, I started thinking about some of the possible reasons for Diana’s behavior. They’re not valid reasons to do it, but they are reasons:

  • For the Nookie: Here’s the deal: If you want a hookup, fine. But there are plenty of fish in the sea. Is it worth it to do that with someone your friend has told you they wanted? I’d say not.
  • Competition & Self-Esteem: When it comes to someone we want, many of us are willing to fight. And that’s cool. But to focus on someone that someone else likes… Well, that’s almost like trying to prove to yourself and anyone watching that you’re hotter. And those that are hot don’t need to flaunt it. They just ARE. 

The Lesson? Ultimately, we’re all grown-ups and entitled to make choices. But, booty comes and goes. Your friends (if you don’t screw with ’em and they don’t screw you) can go the distance.

And, if you have your heart set on someone and the feelings are real, then make sure your friend gets the heads up. That’s the relationship that (should) come first.

And as for Diana… While I can’t pretend to really know what was in Diana’s head during all this, I
do know that her actions alienated her friends. And she ended up with
neither of the guys. So it doesn’t seem like anyone, really won, did they?

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