Prince Harry & Meghan Markle Anger Gingers

Prince Harry & Meghan Markle Anger Gingers
Prince Harry during his nudity scandal

My heart is rarely crushed by a celebrity. In general, I know they are celebrities — real people, out there in the abyss somewhere, with real people problems and quirks et al, except probably made thousands of times worse by the bastardization that is fame. It always strikes me as incredibly odd when people say they like or don’t like a celebrity and why, because they don’t know them, and plus, they’re usually seeing a glossed over image of who they really are. If you “like” the person, it’s probably because they have a damn good publicist (see: Taylor Swift pre-2016).

Yet, somehow, somewhere deep inside my soul, I always had this glimmer of hope that one day I’d meet and marry Prince Harry, or at least have a rendevouz with him. Maybe it’s because of his bad boy image, perhaps it’s because we’re both gingers, and he’s the only one I’ve ever had a true crush on. He feels a little more real, tangible, with all his flaws on display for the media to gawk at. Plus, he has the inherited soul of Princess Di, one of my only real-world heros. Seriously, how brave was she to hug someone with AIDs when the rest of the world was treating them like lepers? And they didn’t know anything about that terrible disease yet?

Anyway, Sparkles, as I’ll call her, ruined my Christmas. First, she always has that damned smirk on her face that makes me thinks she’s just thirsty. (Yeah, I know I’m going to be accused of being racist. But that was my first impression of her, back when I assumed she was 100% Caucasian & didn’t know any differently.) And the more I read about her, the more I think my instinct about her was right…maybe it’ll work out, but based on her history, she’s hungry for fame.

That being said, it seems it would have to take a lot to tie Prince Harry down, and I do appreciate that she’s an older woman (than him anyway).

I’m getting off track now; the real reason they ruined Christmas is because now it’s going to be nearly impossibly for Prince Harry to birth ginger children. Conspiracy theory: that’s why the queen is letting him marry an American, biracial “commoner’. To cut off nearly all possibility of there being more royal gingers. Let’s remember that in England, “gingers” are considered 2nd class citizens, and using that word is the equivalent of using the “n” word in America.

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