Apparently fear of a ginger’s wrath is real, because the guy I was seeing (not ginger) … broke up with me. Via text message.
He always teased me for being a vampire, but I think his jokes were a crutch for his fear of my fangs. And he was right to be afraid. Very afraid.
I don’t know how somehow lives to be 29 years old and fails to have the cajones to use their larynx to tell someone they’ve been dating for 5 or 6 months that they’re done, but devoting any more of this blog post to this ponderation is a waste of effort and space and keeps you, my dear reader, from your ginger-philic perversions.
On to a more important subject: Now that I have given myself a month to grieve the fact that I didn’t beat him to the punch, I’ve reinstalled my dating apps (Bumble, Hinge & Coffee Meets Bagel: Fuck that Tinder shit), as well as been (kinda, sorta) meeting people IRL. Yeah, some of us still do that! Apparently. Or at least, I do, but somehow the online ones always turn out to be more dateable (read: attractive).
Anyway, after this recent disturbance, I’ve decided that I need to break some bad patterns of mine. No more heavy drinkers, no more dudes who have more eating disorders than I do, and no one who makes mean jokes at other people’s expenses.
And one of the ways I’ve been trying to do this more is by considering men who are not “my type”.
And who is not my type? Gingers.
But I don’t even know what to say, on Bumble, for instance, where the woman initiates the conversation, when I match to another ginger. My very curt profile text is a self-deprecating comment about being a redhead (shocking, I know), so on the one hand, I feel like I should state the obvious in my intro and make a joke about it. But on the other, it’s so obvious that I feel really fucking weird doing that.
And I’ve noticed that many dudes complain in their profiles about the women initiating not saying anything more interesting than “Hi, how are you?” on first contact (to which I have to say, fuck you, you are a douche and an idiot…A.) Never complain in your dating profile…duh.; B.) You know what women have to deal with when men initiate contacting them? Harassment. Potential of assault and even murder (See Elliot Rodger). Dick pics. You want me to send you a dick pic? Would that be more interesting than a hello? Let me just stop by Lover’s Lane and purchase a strap-on. Maybe I’ll even decorate it to make it look like it has some funky disease. Now there’s a conversation starter for you, jackass.)
All I have to say is: I now understand just hard it is for men (separate from the boys who complain in their profiles about girls) to be conversation and romance leaders all the time.
Props to the good ones. Ginger or no. Even though I’m still kind of creeped out by the idea of getting down with another 2 percenter.