Archive for April 2013

Scientology Loves Redheads

Maybe it’s because aliens like Tom Cruise are fascinated by the most unique race on Earth (gingers) or maybe it’s because they believe our soullessness will make scientology the only appropriate religion for us, I’ve determined scientologists love redheads. I learned this today when picking up my mail. My roommate apparently used to be a... Read more »

Louis Vuitton Exploits Gingers for Good

As I was flipping through The Wall Street Journal Magazine (pretend I didn’t just say that), I saw a Louis Vuitton ad that shocked me. Not only did was a ginger modeling what’s considered an elite brand, but also she was half naked. Among a blonde, a brunette and an Asian, she was the one... Read more »

Have you ever landed in the hospital because of your hair color?

Have you ever landed in the hospital because of your hair color?
This guy did. And he started a forum about it. Apparently Malaysians are mean to redheads. And apparently there are redheads in Malaysia.

Prince Harry is Balding

Prince Harry is Balding
The only attractive ginger to ever exist, the one who makes the phrase “redheaded stepchild” a compliment, is balding. Please excuse me while I bawl my clear-lashed eyes out.
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    The Ginger Phile has had the unfortunate disposition of being a ginger since birth. She has tried various medications to cure her gingervitis, including therapies such as tantrum-throwing. Her efforts have been to no avail. Instead, she is trying to write it out, via this blog. Unfortunately, she doesn't think it will bear a soul for her. The Ginger Phile is from the exotic land of Wisconsin, where she had daily inner turmoil over whether she was a ginger or a daywalker. So far, three of three votes say daywalker. She begs to differ, as someone recently told her they would want to be with her if they were biking at night because she is so pale.

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