We make our first friend as a young child, maybe its a neighbor or someone we met in preschool. Usually this person is our friend until someone moves away or when we go off to separate colleges after high school. These are are the friendships that are supposed to last a lifetime. We also have the friends we make in school or at work. These friendships and relationships are only held together because we are in the same place every single day. Don’t get me wrong, some off these relationships last a lifetime as well. Friends and romantic relationships come and go throughout our life. Its a cycle, it “just happens“.
There comes a point when you need to make a decision about the value some friends bring to your life. Sometimes we hold on to friendships and relationships based on how long have known them. Sometimes fear is why we don’t part ways because we don’t want to be alone. If you feel there is nothing substantial keeping you connected, time or fear is not enough of a reason to hold on to something that at the end of the day is not worth holding on to.
People grow apart, that is a completely normal. We realize that we want different things. When the relationship becomes a lecture all the time of a friend or partner continuously telling you that you need to leave a job, a relationship or living situation it becomes clear that they do not care, support you, listen or give insightful advice. When your friend or partner cannot support you and is making you unhappy or miserable, it’s time to say farewell. We cannot allow ourselves to feel trapped. Don’t tolerate being in a toxic relationship when someone is competing with you, making you question yourself, belittling you, bringing negativity to your life. You deserve someone who is your biggest supporter throughout your journey and believe in you more than you believe in yourself. Its not always about them understanding what is going on, but just supporting you through it.
By a certain age, we have identified who are and what our values are. It becomes draining when you’re in a friendship or relationship that their insecurities and problems become extra weight to bear. Ultimately you cannot stress out about their issues that you cannot fix, especially if the issues are ones that they have brought on themselves. Paranoia, frustration, tension and anger start to set in when a friendship or relationship is near its end. I refuse to allow someone to have such influence on my life when I don’t trust them or feel they have been loyal to me for various of reasons. Someone who has not been faithful, full of empty promises and don’t bring you piece of mind, it is clear why you need to let them go.
It is difficult to hold on to people in life. It is sometimes better if things were left as mere memories. Take the good times, learn from the bad and remember any relationships or friendships that have gone south are only preparing you for the next one. As Muhammad Ali said, ” Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It’s not something your learn in school. But if you haven’t learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven’t learned anything.”