Listening is giving

Listening is giving

I do not exactly know if it’s a product of my imagination or a perspective temporarily invaded of emotions that will change later, but I have the painful feeling that society as a whole – with its always good exceptions – is losing its hearing. I believe we’re just becoming deaf by leaps and bounds and not because there is a pandemic that is physically eating away our hearing organs, but because it seems to be increasing, if not completely conscious and voluntary, at least predictable, the marked tendency to NOT listen: not to the neighbor, or the wind, or the silence … or to ourselves.

Last night I saw a TV spot which exalted the “value” of bringing “our sound” all day, not knowing what is happening in our environment, in acoustic terms. It was an advertising of some headphones that isolated the outside “noise” so the user could listen, without interruption, the music of the iPod and then keep happily immersed in his world. What a message ! … “Nothing else matters but your own sound.”

It’s important to clarify that I listen music while I run, thereby ensuring that the anguish for counting miles completely vanishes and the enthusiastic rhythms of good melodies, give me impetus to move forward without hesitating. I try, however, that after completion of the journey, my ears and mind enjoy again the everyday noises and environment: my child’s laugh, the story of a good friend, a dried leaf I step when walking and the advice of my mother, among other acoustic wonders.

A few days ago I had the pleasure of sharing lunch with a good friend. On the table were just our food and the positive desire to talk. The conversation was opened with caring and genuine questions to each other: “How are you?”, “Tell me about your next trip”, “how did the work project of your husband go?”, “How have you been feeling these days? “… Everything, absolutely everything, was naturally built in an expression of “ I’m all ears ” or what is better:” I care and that’s why I’m here”. The originally planned 60 minutes doubled without even noticing it, probably by the mutual delight of seeing that the other was attentive, interested, focused, practicing the famous but decreasingly applied here and now. There were no distractions; no attempts at disruption, there were not calls or chats, much less glimpses to social networks. We simply returned to the basic principles of GIVING.

Once we finished the enjoyable lunch, I went home with a smile and a satisfactory digestion, in all areas. I felt really good.

Here is my simple message, of course just expressed in one of the various forms by many with the same concern, since I have not discovered anything, much less pioneered what I am saying here, but I do it because every day I realize more and more about the exquisite consequences of it: give your ear … and by it I mean your legitimate interest in all those you care. Listen to them and do not act like you do, because they notice. Ask them how they are, ask about their family, their health, their work, their life plans, their hobbies … show how much you care and receive no more response than a sweet smile that truly thanks and an eagerness wish to keep you close, forever.

Receive my hug … and my ear.



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  • fb_avatar

    Mi muy querida Mone,

    Mil gracias por recordarnos que debemos relajarnos y disfrutar el momento asi sea con una buena amiga como tu, tu familia tus hijos, etc.
    Dios nos regala a cada momento pequenos milagros que por andar de prisa son desapercibidos.
    Valoro tus consejos y este blog tan lindo que compartes con nosotros.

  • In reply to Rosalinda:

    My muy querida Ro,
    Nada me agradezcas, que si algo tienes, es que eres una oyente de primera. De entre los pequeños milagros que mencionas se encuentra el hoy, el aquí, el ahora y la amistad... vaya cajita de delicias !.
    Gracias a ti por leerme ( es escucharme ) y por tu cariño.

  • My Dear Mone;

    It is one of the maladies of the modern world that we live in the age of the "Crack-Berry" and the "sound-bite".

    Whatever cannot be put into a 2 liner (txt or EMail) or into a 5 second "infomercial", goes by without any notice.

    And the costs associated to that are huge, but nobody listens.

    Politicians do whatever they want because no one takes the time to listen to them and actually argue with them.
    Public administrators are free to use the public's resources as they want because they manage to hide issues under such verbiage that nobody cares.
    Even within the context of the private companies, the best way to get something approved and in writing is to write an Email longer than 10 lines, then explain that unless you hear to the contrary you will do so and so and end with another 10 lines.
    NOBODY reads, in the same way that nobody listens.
    And we all pay the price of that in things like the Government Shut-Down (Dems have simply not listened to Reps and viceversa for the last 7 years).

    I do agree with you that we should all learn to listen. Mainly on spiritual grounds but; since those grounds seem to be "out of fashion", I am giving you "ammunition" for your argument: We need to listen and to make our politicians and administrators listen to each other.

    Or, we'll be stuck with a dysfunctional system / government for a long time.

    Hope this pragmatic approach awakens a few persons out there.



  • In reply to HectorMedina:

    My dear Hector:

    The forum is all yours. When I finished reading what you wrote, I realized how limited I am left with my blog post. How assertive you are !!. I would like - more than being read in this media ( which is difficult, by the way ) -, that people read what you've just written correctly; should be you a blogger and take us into consciousness so we feel eager to be better and have better governments. How convenient is deafness and I had not seen that. Dopamine is the ignorance of the people. The ear that is lost is money that is gone ... the ear that is blocked is misdirected power ... is permitted lack of rights. True! This is much deeper and I like it!! THANKS for commenting! Great contribution !
    Hugs !!!

  • fb_avatar

    Thank you for reminding us that a good conversation is always in order. Modern society is quite ill. We enter our little cocoons . I see it all the time here when in the metro. Everyone is looking at the screen of their phones or with their earphones... few, even when they are not traveling alone are conversing. Most of the talkative genre are tourists discussing which stop is theirs. It's simply crazy!

    At home we try to share dinner with good conversation, but many times we end up watching a sitcom or movie and don't talk... I will make an effort to change that! It is worth it!

    Change begins with awareness.
    Hugs n' kisses!

  • In reply to Viviana Alvarez:

    My dear Viv,
    The world is changing, no doubt. I pray to see changes and we all go back to basics. Our ears are a treasure and we need to remind that. I hope French people stop to smell the flowers as they used to, my friend.
    Thanks for your comment. Very deep and smart.
    Hugs from Chicago to Paris.

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