While I was hastily typing the keyboard of my computer, tirelessly surfing the internet, a rare feeling invaded my body, a kind of deep silence made me only hear the beating of my heart: there he was, my wonderful 10 month old son, who minutes before was crawling across the floor of the room where I regularly write or do my cyber consultations … he remained paralyzed and I knew it because I stopped listening to the rustle of his pajamas with the fabric of the carpet; as an immediate action I turned to see him and his beautiful eyes were stuck in my soul … he was firmly looking at me, sweetly but without smiling. I think he was doing it for a while. It would seem pure fiction if I said it was as if he spoke without words, but that’s exactly what I perceived. I enjoyed the silence while I also suffered: there were just a few seconds, interrupted by the thirst of holding and hugging that little piece of human flesh, so full of life and own light. Needless to say that in that very moment I disconnected any technological device and stayed focused and happy, admiring the wonder of life and creation: a baby who recently just mumbled and now tries again and again, to stand up on two little legs and say “dada” or “mama”.
Long time no write … and now I do it because my son is sleeping and I want to share that since this special look took place and until this moment I breathe, I’m more eager than ever to witness and experience what is happening here and now. I want to touch, squeeze and feel that pair of little legs, little arms and fantastic cheeks inviting to live there, to remain several hours engrossed, like many other wonders that are now around me: the fruit I eat in the morning and that now I want to slowly peel with my fingers; the soft and cute conical head of my dog, my unconditional companion, loving ball of hair that meets me at every opportunity, looking for the constant pampering, the water falling on me when I shower and that warms my skin, protecting me from the outside tough cold, the hug of my husband, the steam of the tea next to me, my mother’s voice on the other side of the phone, the cards I hold between my fingers to play canasta with my friends, while laughing for the nerves or sighing for the excitement, the texture of my pajamas when I finally go to bed, the conversation with God to make the check list of the day, the deep breaths of a nice sleep … all this and much more deserves my attention and my constant gratitude.
Alongside these delights and because of an internal noise that kept me somehow “blocked”, a few nights ago I began to meditate, or at least try … The inner silence … what a great pleasure. In the silence many questions are answered because we put ourselves in full tune with the sole power of creation (for me, God, but everyone can call as finds better). The mind becomes clear and harmony emerges, being able to deeply appreciate the totality of life. I am just beginning, but the noise has decreased dramatically and appreciation for the beauty of my environments, is strongly resurging.
I appreciate all the technological tools that we have today, no doubt, but I choose to use them when reasonably necessary, because in my opinion, they’re far from helping to find that state of consciousness in which we can observe ourselves, realizing that we are not our thoughts, and these are not the reality.
Bye for now, wishing everyone to find his own inner silence, if at any time, as I experience now there’s the need to discover it … and if you just found it long before me, enjoy it fully.
“Pay attention to any signs of grace or beauty. Stay awake at all times to the news always coming from the silence. “
My hug, for those who want it.