I got to thinking – “when was the last time I posted?” For all the inquisitive folks out there demanding for an answer: November 9, 2016 – the day after the presidential election. My usual 8 weeks – 9 months hiatus lasted a bit longer I suppose because it has taken quite a bit of effort to lift my jaw off the floor after nearly one year of you-couldn’t-make-this-garbage-up-if-you-ingested-all-the-good-drugs-in-the-world-and-wanted-to-write-the-weirdest-and-most-bizarre-fiction-series-of-all-time-which-includes-stories-like-Hunger-Games-yeah-the-one-where-CHILDREN-battle-each-other-to-the-death-w-t-f headlines.
My parting sentiment from that entry was as follows:
“I’m rooting hard for Donald Trump to be a competent, thoughtful, and effective president for all Americans. I want him to succeed. I want his team to look out for us all. He will be my president come January 20, 2017, and I have to be okay with that. Because I believe in the system, and the system, as the democracy it is, believes in us.”
Pardon my Australian, but f#ck that. I’m amending that concluding paragraph with far more choice and realistic words (competent and thoughtful, 45 is not). Call it an Insultful Ode to 45. Here’s goes…
Insultful Ode to 45
Orange Man (either too much sun or gratuitous spray tans, already proving your lack of judgment) in White House – since the moment you took the oath of office on January 20th, 2017, you’ve proved oh-so-many things…such as an ego Napoleon would be jealous of, begging the question if psychology will officially submit Trumpian into the catalogue of psychological disorders, fueled by undeserved your self-application of credit and praise when no major legislation has passed (executive orders are just his way of pretending to be a big boy) because everyone in Congress thinks he’s a giant orangutan toddler flinging poop with half-baked tweets (and tweetstorms AKA tantrums) and asswipe monikers such as “Lying Ted” “Crooked Hillary” “Little Marco” and blaming the past administration … only proving an immense jealously of 44 (Obama), which may mean you have a strange interracial cuckold fantasy you’ve been battling, which most likely involves your daughter, or 12 sexual assault accusers, or three wives, and/or X mistresses (the actual number is debated), and add in a dash of obsession with Hillary (maybe you’re into her?), giving me the chronic eye rolls when you communicate about any of the above jealous/love/sexual obsessions or successes in a superlative nature, and it isn’t a surprise you are absorbed by guns (insecurity and donor money), Nazism (Adolf Hitler fetish, and need for love – Fred didn’t hug Don enough), and angry, uneducated white people (the only people stupid enough to like you) … not to mention the “deity” leader of North Korea and the dick-measuring match you’re playing like a game of risk between two loons at the insane asylum, but with nuclear codes (gulp) … much of this could be forgiven if you’d fix health care by reducing premiums, standardizing care among the populous, or push a tax bill that’d benefit a majority of Americans (not your donors or rich people you’re dying to ingratiate), or secure environmental protection for the next several generations (not assault) … and you should be ever thankful to the soulless crew of suck – Bannon the Grim Reaper, Kellyanne Conway the insomniac spin doctor, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, Trump’s female clone, and the many other brainwashed rubes running around the White House throwing Fox News stories at your desk … and don’t let me not mention the royalty of incompetence with Don Jr. the Duke of Douchebagger, Eric the Earl of Everything about You Sucks, and Jared Kuschner, Crown Prince of Weaselworld – truly a trinity of awful you should be proud to rear and call sons (in-law) … thankfully they all have the greatest role model in the history of the word great as the p*ssy-grabbing “star” that can’t help but assault beautiful women like a perverse, horny home-schooled jackass who likes getting peed on in Russia by Ukranian tranny prostitutes.
I’ll take a quick breath … as it’s a long year to cover …
And conclude this amended piece by saying – Godspeed, Robert Mueller. You are the last line of defense for all that is good and right in course-correcting political leadership and the collective attitude in our country – aiming toward facts and sanity. That mindset also being – we’re not going to put up with this sh*t. Because I believe in the system, and the system, as the democracy it is, believes in us (the last line of the last one!).
Farewell, faithful readers (Kris Kenny – NOPE).