The Fine Art Of Glancing At A Woman's Beauty In Public Places

We can all agree this is a “time that tries men’s souls.” I would only add that any time is a time to appreciate a woman’s beauty.

Now before you start…! This has nothing to do with objectifying or stalking beautiful women. Simply speaking for thousands of robust men here in Chicago and millions throughout the world exercising their God or Darwin-given right to enjoy the inestimable gift of feminine beauty on a summer day.

To be sure, there’s a delicate line between enjoying and gawking. Truck drivers and girder workers gawk. Men of my age (old!) and culture (finally passed chemistry!) have mastered the undetected glance:

* during an expressway gaper’s block, you pull up to her car and point down to her tires; while she checks them out, you check her out

* on a commuter train or plane, you work discretely from behind a partly folded newspaper; again proving that modern technology like the Kindle has its limits

* in a restaurant, you simply but innocently ask the waiter for a different (and closer!) table

* at a party, the rules loosen because now you’re free to speak as well as stare

Two exceptions to the rules: (1) at a ball game with thousands of screaming fans, you are permitted to stare as long and as hard as you wish (2) if you’re married, you explain to your wife the latest scientific analysis for this male behavior: “Honey, it’s not me, it’s my genes that make me do it!!”

 

Filed under: Uncategorized

Leave a comment