“Mr. Speaker, Mr Vice President, members of Congress ~ I come before you to report on the state of our Union…. if you’ve been following me on Twitter you know our Union is terrific…never been better….I mean it’s better than it’s ever been over the last couple centuries, give or take a few years when the Democrats were in power….[HOLD FOR LAUGHS] ….I kid the Democrats… actually I have them over to the Oval Office regularly where they have their pictures taken with me….really really great pictures….but I have to say this, when I stepped into that office, look I have to be honest, things were bad… believe me, very very bad….President Obama, nice guy nice family, but honestly, he let a lot of things slide…big time….like that Iran Deal, sad… and those bank regulations jamming our dream-makers on Wall Street…. more than sad….and just like Sean Hannity has been explaining on FOX, he let millions of illegals, millions, into our country….[PAUSE]….maybhe had a soft spot for fellow illegals, who knows….but I kid the former President, wherever he’s working now.
“Talking about borders, I hope you’ve been following the way we’ve been vetting thousands of bricklayers from Guatemala to start work on that fantastic wall…we’re about a year late on laying the cornerstone, but it’s going to be a terrific cornerstone, I promise you….but here’s
why I called you together….you know how I like to surprise the voters….Steve tells me I’ve already surprised them 234 times with my Executive Orders…[HOLD FOR LAUGHS]….OK, here’s my 235th….I’ve done all I can in these 12 months, now it’s time to move on….there are hotels, golf courses, casinos and resort complexes to build in all those countries who can’t afford them after our fantastic trade deals caught them off guard…so now I’m asking my friend and your Vice President to step up and take the executive ball from here…. I’ve carried it over the goal line, Mike, now it’s time for you to hold the score….[CUE BALLOON DROP] ….can we hear it from the Congress…”
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