On The Eighth Day God Gave Us Trans Fat; Now The FDA Is Messing With Creation

Look, this isn’t the place for a monster theology lesson…but the FDA has now quite intentionally forced theology onto the front page…I mean it…sure, they use “wellness” as their motive, but this believer isn’t totally convinced…because, you see, Trans Fat was clearly a gift from the creator, and the Big Guy doesn’t like having his gifts thrown back in his/her face.

How can little me dare make such a large statement? Because look for yourself. The celestial connection between God and Trans Fat is virtually shouting us in the mouth. If God is the source of all great gifts, who I ask can dispute the following as among humanity’s grandest gifts. In order of mouth-smacking grams of Trans Fat, there is:

Frosting…pies…cakes…cheese cakes…coffee cream….margarine….frozen pizza…sandwich cookies…. chocolate chip cookies…breakfast foods…..

I can’t go on. My salivating taste buds are smudging the page. But you, my fellow Fat Lovers, get the theological implications. On the eighth day, God gave us Trans Fat for our pleasure. Now some agnostic do-gooders in D.C. intend to snatch it away. Throw it back in his/her face.

With pun intended, I ask you: WHAT THE HELL IS THAT ABOUT?!

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