Admit It, You Rascal, You Use Your Smartphone To Take Pictures Of Yourself

The official word for our bloated techy obsessions with ourself is now “selfie.” I’m not making that up. The Oxford University Press has formally declared “selfie” as the new word-for-the-year for 2013. I instantly picture this cacophonic collage of monumental egotists from Donald Trump to Ted Cruz, from Simon Cowell to Miley Cyrus. This generation is not only desperately in love with itself, now it has more technical ways of expressing that love than ever before in the history of the human ego.

As evidence — just in time for your Christmas shopping — there is the hot new world of wearable tech. I kid you not. The market is rapidly filling with a gazillion new widgets you can wear wherever you go in order to keep methodical track of the most important, lovable person in all this world: You. Your heart beat, blood pressure, sugar levels, sleeping patterns, serotonin supply.

Hypochondriacs never had it so good!

One company already features a wrist-wearable fitness-tracking app [MapMyFitness] for under $300. Can the competitors like Nike and Adidas be far behind? Not on your precious life, because when it comes to gratifying our selfness, there’s no limit.

At my advanced age, sure I’m interested in my health; but the specified market for these widget wonders are the twenty & thirty somethings. Why? Your guess is as good as mine. Unless you yourself are in your twenties and thirties. In that case it’s not just a guess. It’s the very raison d’etre for your generation and its apparent mission to live forever. Something my generation generally rejects, because we’ve learned once around is really quite enough.

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