Please, Is It Too Late To Hate Nat Silver?

Nat Silver — brilliant New York Times blogger guru [“FiveThirtyEight”] — was the kind of brainy kid you hated in school because he always had the answers. Now he has them bigger and better than ever. He’s the national whiz kid from ‘Moneyball” and ‘Freakenomics’ who just predicted the Obama victory to a statistical exactitude that would bring a smile even to the smile-less Mr Spock.

Lets face it. Nat may be the last and highest in the evolutionary line of homo sapiens acquiring the skills to finally answer all homo sapiens’ questions. Think of it. Armed with the power of unflinching statistics, Nat and his fellows may soon predict everything from the Hadron Collider to the Superbowl to the 2016 election to the Chaos Theory. Oh, and maybe someday predict precisely how the next fantastic orgasm!

We’re impressed. The White House…Pentagon…Seals….CEOs…movie moguls….and the young studs planning their weekend party moves. But look, even Einstein and Hawking have had problems. In Nat’s case it’s something like watching the yapping little dog chasing the big car down the street. He never catches it, but what if one day he actually does. Then what the hell does he do with it?

If one day Nat and his legions of statisticians finally put all the answers to all our questions in that giant file book, what wild wind will he have reaped? With all his staggering data and predictability, will he have at long last so robotized and computerized us that lo! we will have become as life-size algorithms?

I’m just guessing here you understand, but I think there’s a 74.6 % chance my great grandchildren will become Nat’s algrithms by the next century. Beep…ping…ring….click.

Filed under: Uncategorized

Leave a comment