OK, This Has To Stop! Now They're Killing Christmas In The Key Of C

For felicitous generations it was standard to hear traditional carols like ‘Silent Night,’ ‘Come All Ye Faithful,’ and “O Holy Night.” Gradually they expanded the repertoire with cutesie stuff like ‘Rudolf The Red Nosed Reindeer,’ ‘Frosty the Snowman,’ and ‘Santa Baby.’

So far so good.

But then about a generation ago the big studio boys who make the big bucks hustling the big music sales realized they needed more hits to make more profits. I mean, that’s what Christmas is all about, right? Profits. And so they imposed upon our youngest ears hotly orchestrated drivel like: Lady GaGa’s ‘Christmas Tree,’ Kids on the Block moaning ‘Have a Funky Christmas,’ and everyone’s perennial favorite by Elmo & Patsy ‘Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer.’

You hear a lot about lines-in-the-sand. Well, here’s mine-in-the-snow. To all you off-key rockers and would-be innovators alike, there’s a new sheriff in town….! From this line on I will be denouncing you whenever and wherever I can. You sneer “so what?” Ahh but these days any one little protester has the same access to the same world-wide-web that you do.

So look out lady-what’s-your-name, the Christmas Sheriff has just called you out onto the street. I’ll be waiting for you with a holster-full of Bing Crosby and Perry Como hits…..!

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