Alert! This Election Is Not Brain vs Brain, But Stomach vs Stomach!

Yes, yes, I know the pundits are busy prattling on about the epic battle of political ideas shaping up for November [AKA, Ayn Rand vs Karl Marx]. Although the addition of political wonk Ryan to political vacuum Romney seems to make this true, I’ve researched an entirely different angle. OK, so my facts are a little fuzzy, but here it’s the food not the facts, mam…!

Anecdotal evidence tells us R&R drink de-caf while B&B take their coffee straight. Pay attention, my fellow right-to-vote fan, for this detail is not insignificant.

After oil, coffee is the world’s biggest trading product with billions of pounds grown and shipped every year. It is the lingua franca of universal communication. After age 14, 80% of the world’s population drinks some form of coffee. Said to be true of alpha males like Napoleon, Lincoln, Teddy Roosevelt, Donald Trump and oh yes Charlie Sheen.

These and other public figures drink their coffee straight. If R&R don’t, what does this tell the anxious voter? Theories conflict. It could mean that R&R are too uptight to handle the real stuff. Or it might tell us they are the thinking-man’s addict vs the intuitional-man’s addict. Or it could simply mean when they get that 3 AM phone call from the Pentagon, they’ll be sleeping too soundly to get up and pull the trigger!

A modest suggestion here.

Yes, ignore the negative ads…listen to the speeches…read the editorials…pay attention to the body language…and study the debates. Then when you have to pull the lever, ask yourself what kind of coffee you had that morning. Like a shining shaft of light, this will help guide your heart and hand.

Sound too frivolous? Sorry to say that an entire history of elections tells us — this is about as good a way to pick a winner as any…!

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