From Moneyball To Madonna, You Won't Believe Where We"ve Come

Brad Pitt’s movie hit “Moneyball” is just the latest example of how facts-and-stats have become the new cult, replacing America’s old one of dash-and-daring. Even our most dashing innovators like Gates and Zuckerberg don’t roll the dice without first calculating every statistical angle.

So what does this mean for the rest of us mere mortals…?

It means that while we still love our mavericks, the big boys in charge of the big decisions mostly hire number-crunchers. You know, those nerdy little guys behind the thick glasses in chemistry class who the guys snickered at and the gals pitied over. Or at least used to!

But now here’s the big nut that has to be cracked: What the hell do we do with all our facts-and-stats? I mean, statisticians still can’t agree on what’s good and bad for us, because their coffee and cholesterol reports change every two months. Maybe this means their facts-and-stats are not the “final word” but only the “first word.” Take these examples to see how YOU alone should decide what they mean:

* 3.5 million Americans between their prime-time of 45 & 64 have been unemployed over a year!

* The sea level on the US east coast is rising four times faster than the world average!

* 1 in 4 smartphone owners admit to checking them while driving, while on the toilet, and after sex!

* Madonna has hired the world’s first sterilization team ordered to remove all traces of her DNA during concert tours so that “no one can steal it in order to replicate her!”

If this is how our new facts-and- stats experts have replaced our old dash-and-daring kooks, well there’s a good reason for remembering the old advice: “Keep experts on tap, not on top…!”

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  • #2 seems to defy the maxim that water seeks its own level. Sort of sounds similar to people claiming that the NFL, as a whole, will have a better than .500 season.

    Madonna seems similar to the old kooks than statistician. Who wants to be a Catholic Kabbalist Brit from Detroit?

    Of course, the statisticians have made the baseball blogs unreadable. I trumped them when I found a study on whether PitchTrax (which indicated that Kerry Wood did not walk 4 batters in a row earlier this year) was accurate. As Steve Stone says, the only one who has a vote that counts is the umpire.

  • In reply to jack:

    Jack ~ Catholic Kabbalist Brit from Detroit...? How do I get to be that?? Sounds strangely symphonic!!

  • In reply to Jack Spatafora:

    You'll have to ask Madonna about that one. Or wipe up her DNA and take it to the lab.

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